


True Colors, Ironically Speaking

by Hammertimexx (orphan_account)



Series: True Colors, Ironically Speaking [1]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: AKA this is an entire fic about the boys being idiots, AU, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homestuck - Freeform, Homestuck AU, Humanstuck, M/M, Soulmates, but we love them anyways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-05
Updated: 2014-03-05
Packaged: 2018-01-11 05:58:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 35,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1169528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Hammertimexx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Show me your true colors<br/>In their blinding brightness,<br/>Like they glow in the night<br/>When you are dreaming,<br/>Forget about the others,<br/>The unbearable lightness,<br/>Of our being"</p><p>"What the hell is this, the new national anthem for the assholes trying to justify the fact that they have no fucking say in who they get to love?" </p><p>On a persons 21st birthday, they would discover the first name of their soulmate. John had waited his entire life for the moment, while Dave loathed the very idea of being paired with someone against his will. However, when the moment actually comes, both react much different than anyone would have thought.</p><p>(Written by: Hammer)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Truth Is Written In 8-Bit

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello! Hammer here~ Originally I wrote this as a drabble for my partner in crime, Time, but I really liked it as an idea for a fic and I thought that it may not turn out too terribly. I plan on making it several chapters, but I will be updating daily so keep an eye out and I promise it'll be finished soon!
> 
> Also this is song inspired, so if you want, look up the song True Colors by Studio Killers~

John’s eyes traveled between his right wrist and the clock constantly, swallowing thickly as his Dad merely smiled. The room around them was dead silent, yet the outside provided a few helpful distractions in that department. Tires crunching on the asphalt of their suburb streets from the few random cars that were still out roaming at this hour, along with a lone cricket that called into the darkness.

A single lamp was turned on, lighting up the small corner of his father’s living room that John was sitting in. He took up most of the couch, long legs stretched across the cushions comfortably as his father sat straight forward, hand holding his pipe to his mouth as he puffed at it. Every once in a while, John would ask the same question over and over, his teeth gnawing on his bottom lip nervously.

"How much longer?" John asked, shuffling on the couch slightly as he ran his left hand through his mess of hair once more.

"Eight minutes," His father chimed, puffing on his pipe calmly.

Time: 11:52 PM

Date: 4/12/14 

Importance: John’s 21st Birthday, and the day he would find the name of his soul mate, was in eight minutes.

Yes, soulmate. It wasn’t some crazy, unheard of thing, it happened to everyone. Seriously, every person in the world had that person that was made for them. The whole thing was interesting, really. When a person was born, they were born with, well, their name already written. Literally. It was already written on the inside of their left wrist, usually in a very pale color that would develop to a darker shade as they grew older.

John was an exception to this rule in several aspects. When he was born to a couple that he never ended up actually meeting, his birth parents were rather horrified to find that he was born with a blank wrist. Blank wrists were commonly considered ‘bad luck’, thinking that the child would die of some sickness or perhaps was even soulless. It was a dumb superstition, but apparently enough to drive his birth parents to set him up for adoption.

His name finally developed in a bright blue the day he was adopted, six years after he’d been given up. He was told that he was going to meet a new person, which at the age of six, he simply thought to be a new friend. Walking into the small room, he looked up at the person at the table, a tall man with dark hair and a kind smile. A fedora was sitting on the table patiently, and the child had practically cooed at it. “Just like Indiana Jones!”

“You watch Indiana Jones?” The stranger lifted an eyebrow, and the boy had nodded eagerly.

“He’s the best!” He’d began talking about his favorite movies almost immediately, saying that he was going to grow up to be a GhostBuster while the stranger chuckled and told him that it did sound like a rather fun job. Babbling on, he’d also talked about how he liked to color and draw, and that he had a lot of friends in his group at the orphanage, how he loved pranks. He told the man that his favorite color was blue, and that he loved cake but was sad because they never got to eat it, seeing as it was a treat.

The man listened to all of it, nodding and keeping the conversation going. Eventually he introduced himself as James, and when the kid heard it, he smiled. “I’m You,” He giggled.

“Me?” James asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Noooo, You! That’s what they call me. Since I didn’t get a name, they call me You!”

“They call you You?”

“When they want to talk to me, they say, ‘Hey, You’. So, my name is You, I guess,” The six year old shrugged, smiling.

“Well, You doesn’t seem like a very fun name,” James said, looking up at the ceiling in thought. “Have you ever thought of picking your own name?” He suggested, scratching at his chin.

The boy had gone a little wide eyed at that. “I can do that?”

“Sure, if you don’t have one and everyone has to have one, you should get one too,” Giving a big grin, James watched as the kid giggled again.

Seeing as he’d never thought of it like that, the child actually got rather excited at the idea. His own name? Of his own choice? He smiled at him then, giving the best grin he could with a missing front tooth.

Right as he opened his mouth to ask what his name should be, it happened. Bright blue ink began to spill across his left wrist, catching both their eyes and making the older man’s eyebrow furrow as the child watched with a slightly open jaw. Soon, the name spelt out ‘John’, quite obviously, and the rest was history. His father had adopted him that very day, and John remembered wearing the fedora on the way to his new home, calling his new Dad ‘Short Round’ and earning a laugh every time he did so.

Because of this odd start to life, John had always been rather interested in the logistics behind it. How could a body create such coloring? Was it really the soul bearing itself? How could something like this even be predetermined? How did your own skin tattoo itself with a different font, with no prompting? Eventually, he began to study it during his college years, planning on making a career in the scientific studies of Biology. He wanted to know what made this process stall for himself, and if it happened for other people as well.

He was actually back from college on Easter break, and also to be back at his childhood home for when he turned twenty one, the age that his ‘soulmates’ name would bear itself on his other wrist.

"Relax, son," His father calmly reassured, patting his back as he took a small puff on his pipe once more, "There’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s just a name, you’ll find them when you want to, not when you have to.”

John had never seen what Dad’s right wrist said; Apparently, as he’d learned when he was young, it wasn’t all that proper to go around showing the name to everyone. If you did, it was considered ‘less sacred’ or something. Humans were weird. Many wore bracelets and the like, some even just wore long sleeves, though to John that sounded horridly uncomfortable. Dad, as classy as ever, had a watch comfortably wrapped around it, but when he was about seven, John got a glance and saw that the color it was written in was bright orange, much different than his father’s own black font.

Swallowing, John watched the minutes tick by, looking at his right wrist constantly now. What would her name be? Would he already know her? What would she look like? How long would it take to find her? Usually it happened within a year or so, but there were exceptions just as there are to everything. Perhaps there was a large age gap, or a distance gap. There were plenty of things that could go wrong. John could only imagine what his soulmate would be like. Would she love him? What if she was mean? What if she was perfect?

The idea that he could find someone who was perfect for him made his head spin, and he closed his eyes, shaking his head slightly. What if the same thing that happened when he was little happened now? What if he didn’t get to see that name for another six years?

The clock struck twelve, and his eyes shot open, looking at his right wrist intently. Slowly, almost reluctantly, John witnessed a thin red line begin to spell out a name in harsh, blocked font. His breath caught in his throat as he watched. Looking closely, John’s eyes narrowed. Was that… 8-bit?

John’s own name was written in a calligraphy-like script, much to his chagrin. How… Girly. But watching this name spell itself out, he slowly felt his heart beat a bit slower.

D. Dana? Diana? Denise?

A. Darla? Damala?

V… . Wait…

E.

The final letter spelled itself out, the line cutting itself off, and John let out a heavy breath.

Dave.

A… guy?


	2. Even Wikipedia Can't Save You Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time: 12:02 AM Date 12/3/13 Importance: Finding out that his soul was linked to a dude.
> 
> Aka, The first time in his life that Dave Strider loses his cool.

"'Show me your true colors in their blinding brightness. Like they glow in the night, when you are dreaming. Forget about the others, the unbearable lightness of our being'."

Reading the Wiki-page over again, Dave scoffed, "What the hell is this, the new national anthem for the assholes trying to justify the fact that they have no fucking say in who they get to love?"

"Would you get off the fucking computer? You can only read so many articles before midnight," Bro sighed, leaning against the couch with an annoyed expression, "Which, need I remind you, is in two minutes."

"Hey, seeing as you're offering positively no help, I'm finding shit out on my own," Dave shot back, shutting his laptop blindly and standing. Beginning to pace, he continued to glance down at his wrist, shaking his head. This was dumb, not to mention something totally lame to lose his head over. It was just a name, something that should hardly mean anything but was all that people seemed to care about. 

So why was his heart beating so quickly? 

To him, it was stupid. He didn't even get to choose the chick he was going to spend the rest of his life with? What kind of fate was that? A doomed one, that was what it was. Why should he get positively no say? What if she yelled all of the time? What if she hated him? There were so many things that could go wrong, that would go wrong, Dave could practically feel that it was gonna turn sour and he was going to have to deal with it.   
The room was silent as he continued to walk back and forth, the sound of bustling Austin streets spilling in the window and disappearing as he forced himself to move. This was dumb, this was dumb, this was-

"Aaaaaaand time." 

Snapping his head up, he looked at his Bro, who was looking at his phone, watching the time. Looking down at his wrist, Dave wet his lips nervously. Psh, wait, no. Not nervously. They were just dry, Striders didn't get nervous. That was ridiculous. 

Actually, correction. What was ridiculous was Dave's reaction when the invisible tip finished spelling out the name on his wrist.

"John?!"

For the first time in his life, Dave Strider lost his cool.

Dave was the coolest person in the history of ice (Well, that wasn’t completely true. He was only behind two people, Bro and Dirk, both of them being older therefore ‘more cool’, as they say). Sick beats, killer raps, white blonde hair and a nice face made for the perfect combination of the perfect guy. He could walk into any room and at some point the women there would curse the name on their wrist for not being his, and that attention was loved and also kind of hilarious.

However apparently that attention died the moment he found out his soul was as flaming as Freddie Fucking Mercury.

He’d always grown up thinking that it was gonna be a girls name. Fuck, why wouldn’t it be? That was perfectly normal, he’d always thought that he was gonna find the perfect girl, storm the castle, slay the dragon, and win the game of life.

That was, until he'd turned 19 and realized that it was fucking stupid to place all of his trust in a stranger all because their name appeared on his skin.

He’d grown up under the care of Bro, his oldest brother. Apparently he’d only started living with him when he was about five, but he didn’t remember much before that so he always said that he’d been raised by his Bro. And it was true. His Bro was a fucking boss, raising both him and his brother Dirk from the age 14 and teaching them the ways of life. Well, that and sword fighting, but that was kind of beside the fucking point. Point being he’d always grown up being told that, “You’ll get your girl someday,” from his Bro in the same assuring tone whenever he felt lonely. Even in his early teenage years, when he’d gotten his heart crushed by some girl, he was always reminded that, “You need to forget about them. Your girl is out there somewhere.”

Welp that turned out to be the biggest lie since the 'lasting' flavor of Zebra Fruit Striped Gum.

Dave had packed up and went to college at the age of 18, like any normal human (bar Dirk, he was off on some traveling robotics gig and didn’t find the need for it, seeing as he was already working his dream job) and had officially become the coolest kid on campus within a week. He watched as people on campus would study and obsess about these names, and after a while he became slightly cynical to the idea. Why should he be forced to love someone that he probably wouldn't have even liked before their name was slapped onto his skin? 

From that point on, he'd sworn that he wouldn't let himself get caught up in the hype. He'd find out the name, and, if he was lucky, he wouldn't have to meet whoever it was until he was on his fucking deathbed and they turned out to be his nurse or something. He could live a life of turning tables and partying if he wanted to, and he wasn't about to let some stranger force him into a suburb and slap a tie and suit on him.

And now all he’d done was come back for fucking Christmas vacation and he was having an existential crisis.

Time: 12:02 AM Date 12/3/13 Importance: Finding out that his soul was linked to a dude.

"Oh my god, it’s a guy. Holy shit, Bro, it’s a guy, I’m paired with a fucking dude. Even if I find this asshole, I can’t even pretend it’s a chick, because there’s a dick, fucking piss, help me. Fuck, how do I-"

"Little dude-" Bro was sitting back on the couch, his arms crossed across his chest as his white wifebeater stuck to him due to the Austin humidity, even at 12:02 AM in winter.

"-even do this? With my luck I'll wake up tomorrow and run into him in the fucking hallway. I am going to spend the rest of my life with a guy. An owner of a dick, much like myself. Shit. Shit shiiiiiiiit.”

"Little bro-"

"What if he’s a biker? Oh my god what if he’s one of those dudes who dresses in pink and has one of those ridiculous ass lisps?" Turning to look at his older brother, his eyes went wide behind his shades as his hands gripped the edges of his long red sleeves, his heart pounding under the broken record symbol on the chest of his shirt. "What if he’s lame?”

"Dave, fucking sit down and listen to me," Slipping off his own pointed shades, Bro pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes.

Flopping down to sit, Dave covered his face, resting his elbows on his knees and feeling himself breathe. The name on his wrist was fucking haunting him, and it had been two minutes. Wow, who knew four letters could fuck up your world that badly? The room was quiet, minus the whir of the fridge and the rattling of the AC in the back corner of the living room.

"You calm?" Bro asked, his hand falling away from his face to look at Dave with bright orange eyes.

"Fuckin peachy, Brodrick,” Dave challenged, his own eyes narrowing behind the tinted plastic as he practically spat the name. He hated it when he was ordered around like a little kid, he should be allowed to panic, damn it. Bro just rolled his eyes before sitting up a little bit.

Clearing his throat, the older of the two closed his eyes for a moment before lifting up the edge of the black sweatband covering his right wrist, looking down at his brother. “I know it’s not written in crayon, so you may have a hard time understanding-” This earned him another glare, “-but can you read what name that is?”

Dave looked at the black script and nodded, looking down at the ground slightly. Shit.

"What is it, Dave?"

"It’s a bynm.…" Dave mumbled, now feeling almost sheepish. Except Striders didn’t get sheepish. There must have just been something in his throat. Yup, that was it. Blocking his larynx and shit.

"Say that again, but this time don’t puss out halfway through."

"It’s a boy name," Dave repeated, looking up at his Bro. The name was still exposed to the world, but at the moment Bro didn’t seem to care.

"Yup. It’s a dude. Do I look like I give a shit? Fuck no. I find myself lucky that I don’t wake up in the morning and that name is gone because whoever it is croaked in the night. There is someone out there that was made for me, and I’m lucky enough to have their name as a hint. I’m guessing whoever they are is electronically inept, because they don’t seem to exist on any social media site, but I don’t give a shit. Sure, I didn’t find him when I turned twenty one, but I’m gonna find him someday. And when I do? You can bet your ass I’m not gonna be stalled over something as dumb as gender."

Standing up, he walked over, tapping the side of Dave’s head with two fingers, “I didn’t raise you nor Dirk to be narrow minded. Now stop being an asshole. Now listen. I have my mystery man, Dirk has Jane, and you have this John kid. Count yourself lucky, alright? I know you've been pissy over the idea of this for a while, but finding someone who's going to be willing to put up with your shit is a goddamn miracle, so treat it like that. You may not meet him today, or tomorrow, but when you do? The fact that he has a dick is going to be the last thing on your mind.”  
Standing up with a final small nod, Bro turned on heel, beginning to walk to his room. Dave couldn’t help but notice that his Bro touched the name on his wrist almost fondly before covering it again.

"Whatever," Dave huffed out, covering his face again.

“‘Whatever’ me all you want, you know I’m fucking right,” Scooping up a smuppet without looking, Bro chucked it at Dave, hitting him square in the head and earning a disgruntled cuss as Dave's glasses were hit askew his face.

He knew he was being an asshole, which almost made it worse. There he’d been, bitching about finding out that his match had been a boy to his older brother who’d never even found his own soulmate. He also knew that Bro was right about the fact that he was lucky, too, as much as it gutted him like a prize fish to admit it. Some people didn't get a name at all, even though at this point he'd prefer that. He hadn't even wanted one in the first place, and now he was stuck with. . . this. Looking at his Bro's door again, he raised an eyebrow. He didn't expect Bro to say much on it, but it seemed kind of important to him. Maybe he wanted to live out finding his own mate vicariously through his brother. Maybe it was because he didn't think Dave would do well on his own. Perhaps it was because he just wanted Dave to stop acting like a fucking idiot over the matter and face the music. Whatever the reason, it was enough to push Dave off of the ground with a sigh and lead him over to his laptop, straightening his shades.

Looking down at the name again, he almost found a small smile tugging at his lips before fighting it back. No. He was angry about this, damn it. Observing it a bit closer, he let out a huff. Script. Huh. He was probably a total dork. Rolling his eyes, he flopped down in front of his laptop with a dramatic groan, lifting up the top before pulling his sleeve over the name. Alright. John. Good thing it was such a unique name. 

"Alright asshole," Dave muttered, fingers beginning to fly across the keyboard, "you want a match, you have one."


	3. Nic Cage, Ben and Jerry's, and A Pipe Walk Into A Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all the Nic Cage films in the world can help John forget that he's sporting another guys name on his wrist. 
> 
> He knows this, but that isn't going to stop him from trying.

John had hid in his bedroom for three days after he’d read his wrist.

His father had tried talking to him, knocking on the door constantly to no avail and simply resigning himself to leaving snacks and water outside of John's room so at least the boy would get some form of sustenance, even if they were from Fruit Gushers. His cousin Jade had visited the first day to see how getting the name had went and ended up sitting against the bedroom door while calling out to him because he wouldn’t unlock it. She'd come back the next two days as well, waiting patiently as she asked her uncle why his son was such a wuss. John had popped out of his room to throw a soda can at her after that comment, and she'd squealed and ran back downstairs, which may or may not have worked a small smile onto John's face before he promptly forced his frown back into place. She'd found out her name months ago, now wearing a ridiculous, bright green and fuzzy snap bracelet over it while hopping around even more than before, if that was physically possible.

And then there was John, wearing an old band tee shirt, boxers and unmatched socks while he stuffed his face with stale popcorn and watched enough television to make his bright blue eyes water from the lack of blinking. 

He was stuck in a nightmare. A guy. A guy named Dave. He didn’t know how old this dude was, he didn’t know what he looked like, he didn’t even know if he liked guys. Not that John liked guys. Because John wasn’t a homosexual.

But apparently his soul was?

God, this was terrible. This was just awful. He began to wonder why he was even studying this at school. This entire thing was a crapshoot! No one knows what their soulmate is going to look like. No one knows how old their soulmate is. No one knows what their soulmates sexuality is, no one knows what their soulmates personality is like, no one knows how far away from this person they even are, no one knows no one knows, no one knows! There was just no knowledge! The extent of John's knowledge was that it was an 8-bit name and a stressful few days, that much was clear. This guy Dave could be an abusive jerk. He could be a cuddly plump dude, who the hell knew?

Not John, that was for damn sure.

On day three of sulking, his father picked the lock on his door, using a bobby pin provided by the ever present Jade. She was still sitting outside of John's room, braiding her long brown hair and waving at him when the door opened. "Incoming!" She called out as his Dad slid in, opting to sit outside the room so they could have some time to talk. John noticed, but didn’t really care, keeping his eyes glued to his television screen where Nick Cage was rubbing lemon juice on the back of the Declaration of Independence. His Dad cleared his throat, but John just sighed heavily, readjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose slightly before reaching for his popcorn bowl. His hand moved around, but as his fingers just brushed over unpopped kernels he soon realized it was empty. Again. 

"Well, there's another thing in my life that is now empty and meaningless," He mumbled, his hand falling back to his lap. This was a mess.

“Son, this is getting rather ridiculous,” His father sighed, sitting down on the end of his bed. John only tugged his knees up to his chest while looking at his television intently, “You can’t simply hide in here over this forever.”

“Why not?” John asked, not breaking eye contact with the screen, “If I never leave this room I’ll never have to meet him, and it’ll all work out perfectly.”

The silence was staggering, even Nic Cage pausing for dramatic effect and realizing what he’d just said John felt his heart drop to his stomach. Wow, he was a jerk. Finally blinking his glazed over eyes, he found himself looking at his father with a guilty expression.

His Dad had never found his soulmate, and here he was wishing he could avoid his.

Before he could even get the apology out, his Dad lifted a hand, smiling softly, “It’s fine, John, I understand what you meant by that, I take no offense. You're simply upset. And it’s perfectly understandable to be afraid of the unknown, but… There is someone out there that will love you unconditionally, to be there for you whenever you need them, to be your best friend, and you’re focusing on something like this?”

“Dad, it’s a boy name," John sighed, running his hands through his unruly black hair before closing his eyes. 

“John, it’s the person who is meant to be with you,” His father mocked back, wearing a friendly smile. “Stop focusing on gender, for goodness sake, it’s hardly important. You should love someone for who they are, not what body they’re in.”

"But what if I'm not attracted to him at all? You can't have a relationship with someone you're not even attracted to! What if he's rude and hurtful? What if he's horrible, what if he's old, what if he's loud and annoying, what if he's-"

"John." Looking at him with an almost disapproving expression, Dad's brow furrowed, "Why are all of these things negative?" 

Looking down, John caught a glance of the name under the watch he’d started wearing, the red shocking against pale skin. After a moment, he covered his face with his hands. "Because-" Why were they all negative? When he thought it was a girl, there was always the possibility that she was going to be nice and perfect and wonderful, but now all he could think of was some mean, tough dude.

"Because I'm sexist?" He settled on eventually, letting out a sad noise, "I have no idea!" He whined, peaking out at his father between his fingers. “Was it like this for you? When you first got yours?”

“Worse, actually,” Looking up at his Dad, John saw that his father was trying to hold back a chuckle as he smiled fondly, his eyes getting a far away look as he obviously went back into a memory, “When I found mine out, I called up my brother and asked him for help, seeing as he was traveling in Brazil at the time and had found his wife three years earlier. I ended up losing the call because of the distance, and I didn’t leave my house for a week and went through about 8 pints of Ben and Jerry’s. I think that may have actually been when I started smoking the pipe. Your Uncle Harley had to come back to America and drag me out by my ears."

“Wow, and you’re telling me to calm down? You started smoking out of stress and took a man out of the depths of Brazil, I’m just going to Nick Cage."

"Yes, well, point being, I'm actually glad I left my house," He pointed out, "Two years later I ended up adopting a rather wonderful and accepting son, and now I'm having to tell him to be the wonderful and accepting person that he is when it comes to his own soulmate," Chuckling, his father gave John a smile.

"Well when you put it that way. . . " Rolling his eyes fondly, John grinned widely before reaching over, wrapping his arms around his Dad tightly. “. . . I'm sorry. But also, thank you.”

“Of course,” His Dad brushed off, patting his son’s back, “It’s my job.”

"Dad?" John asked, dropping his arms away from his Dad and ticking his head slightly to the left. "Do you. . . " Looking for wording that didn't make him sound like a complete jerk, John spoke slowly, "Do you ever wonder why you haven't found your mate?"

His father didn't look offended, but rubbed at his chin lightly with his thumb and forefinger in thought. After a beat of silence, he shook his head, "In all actuality, no. I used to, and I remember being upset over the fact that it has been years since I figured out their name but I hadn't found them. However I realized soon enough that I would meet them when I was supposed to, and not a moment sooner. After that, I began to relax a bit. Plus, I'm still young enough to enjoy life with them when I do find them, so I hardly see it as a problem. It has been seventeen years, yes, but they've had to wait as well, and I take solace in that fact."

John gave a small smile at that, looking at the floor. He wished he could be more like his father. Sure, his initial reaction had been a bit worse, but overall his Dad seemed to have gotten along in life swimmingly, even getting wise in the fact of having to wait while John was just acting like a mess. Seemingly sensing this, Dad patted John's back. “Now Jade has been waiting to talk to you for three days, could you go out there and assure her that you are, in fact, still alive and haven't perished in front of your television screen?”

Letting out a snort, John nodded, standing and stretching slightly. “She’s your niece, you know, you should know how to fix her when she gets flipped out over something like this.”

“But she’s still your cousin, your age, and your responsibility at the moment, seeing as your silence was the thing that brought her over here.”

“Well meh,” John stuck his tongue out, poking his head out of his room to look at his cousin who smiled up at him immediately. "Jade! I think I need some Ben and Jerry’s, wanna come with to grab some?”


	4. Name Generator

Six.

Months.

It was the beginning of May Dave had found nothing. Facebook? Nope. Personals? Nope. Websites specifically for finding that 'special' person? Nope nope nopenopenope. Dave had come to a few conclusions as he tapped away at his laptop in a bored manner, not even listening to his professor as the man rambled on about social experiments while he sat in the very back of his Psychology class. First off: Whoever he was looking for had to be in hiding. There’s just no way that he could have slipped Dave’s grasp, positively none. Every 'John' he'd looked through just didn't. . . fit. He knew he'd be able to tell when he saw the guy, but so far nothing clicked. Secondly, Dave had come to a unanimous decision; Every John in the history of ever was an asshole. It was official. Every profile picture was of douche-bags in tight shirts with backwards flat billed hats that had horrible bios and typing errors galore. They weren't even ironic, they were just idiotic.

Third off-

"Mr. Strider?" Blinking out of his reverie, Dave raised his eyebrows, looking down as his teacher adjusted his tie. "Yes or no?"

Shit, he'd completely blanked as Mr. Spade had explained. . . Whatever the hell he'd been talking about. Without a second thought, the blonde boy nodded, closing his laptop. "Yeah, yeah, sign me up." 

"Fantastic, that makes you the final student in our next experiment. Stay behind after class for further instructions." The smile he gave Dave was less than happy as Dave himself just blinked. That was supposed to be a figure of speech, Dave didn't actually want to be signed up for shit. He didn't even know what the hell he just agreed to. He wanted to raise his hand and ask what the fuck he missed, but it was kind of too late now and with a groan he slid down in his seat, pushing his shades further up the bridge of his nose by the outer rim of the frame. 

So far, 2014 was the most annoying year of his life. 

-

"I have to get a pen pal?" Dave questioned incredulously, looking at the three other students next to him. They all looked completely unsurprised, but then again Dave probably wouldn't have been if he'd given two shits and actually paid attention to what his professor had been saying. 

"Yes," Mr. Spade said, rolling his eyes slightly. He was sitting at his computer, and once a particular page finally loaded he took out a small pad of sticky notes, beginning to scrawl down what looked like names in a sporadic, black font. "For anyone who didn't listen, Dave, you will be doing a pen pal experiment online, studying the emotional connection to a complete stranger and the way it can effect us. The site name is up at the top, and the person you're being paired with is at a school in Washington. Their screen name is directly below it, and sign up instructions are on the back. Your logs will be recorded, and at the end of a six month time it will be your job to review them and point out the changes in speech, comfort levels, and compatibility. You will pull examples from your talks, but you have a few rules. First off, try and minimize the swearing, this is a school project. Second off, do not tell or use distinctions of your own names, or any personal information. This study is purely off of small bits of information provided through every day conversation, don't give them your name, age, or even the name of your school. All they will know is that you live in Texas, and that's how it should be. And, finally, you will be getting an increase by one letter grade by the end of this, so it's not a complete waste of your time," Turning his chair, Mr. Spade began handing each student one of the sticky notes, "Your own screen names are at the far bottom, your chatting partners are in the middle. You're dismissed."

"But wait," The one girl of the group asked, her pink rimmed glasses sitting comfortably on the bridge of her nose as she fiddled with her waist length black hair, "How often are we supposed to talk to them?" 

"Once a day. You'll be setting that up with them, and I would suggest that the four of you talk about once a month, to see how progress is going with everyone else. It's good research." Placing a hat over his slicked back hair, Mr. Spade stood up, sliding his coat on one arm, "Now if you'll excuse me, I must be going." 

All four students watched him leave, the door echoing heavily in the empty lecture hall as it slammed shut. 

"So," The girl stated, turning to look at the other three students, "Since we're gonna have to be talking, we should probably get to know each other!" She seemed oddly enthusiastic and bubbly to Dave, which was oddly conflicting with the overwhelming silence of the group.

"Or," One of the boys stated, crossing his arms over his chest, "We could shoot ourselves instead."

"Karkat, thop being an athhole," Another boy muttered, a heavy lisp taking over his speech. Looking at all of them, he raised a hand in a silent hello. "I'm Thollux Captor, and thith ith Karkat. Don't worry too muth, he'th alwayth a jerk."

"And in case you can't speak swollen tongue, his name is Sollux," Karkat butted in, rolling his brown eyes and yelping as Sollux shoved a pale hand against his face in retaliation. Shoving back, Karkat stood a little taller, and Dave realized that he was about four inches shorter than the rest of the group. Huh. "I'm Karkat Vantas. I didn't even want to do this, but fuckwad over here volunteered me, so. . . " Giving an almost defeated shrug, he sighed.

"It's good to meet you guys," The girl chuckled, smiling at them, "And I'm Feferi Pexies, but everyone calls me Fef."

"Dave Strider," He introduced himself tersely, looking down at his little slip, "And since you guys are apparently my new go-to buddies, what the fuck is a 'PesterChum'?"

"Beatth me, but it thoundth horrible," Sollux said, looking at his own slip of paper. "What in the ever loving fuck kind of name ith caligulath aquarium?"

"It's the kind that you're pronouncing wrong," Karkat answered, reading over his shoulder, "It's caligulasAquarium, there is no 'thhh'." Sollux smiled as he elbowed his friend, who grumbled and looked at his own, "That sounds fine compared to mine, I'm stuck with gallowsCalibrator. What in fucks name does that even mean? Gallows like what you hang people by?" 

"I think mine is a botany student. Theirs is gardenGnostic," Fef smiled, "I think this is going to be really fun!"

Looking at the own name in the middle of his post-it, Dave snorted, "Wow, ectoBiologist. Elegant." What a fucking dork. It was then that he looked at the name below it. "Hell yeah, mine is turntechGodhead. That sounds cool as piss, I'm ready for this."

"Oh yeah, I forgot we get our own nameth," Sollux looked at his, his eyes narrowing. "twinArmageddonth?"

"It must be a random name generator or something, mine makes no fucking sense. carcinoGeneticist?" Karkat didn't even look sure that he was pronouncing it right before raising an eyebrow at Fef. "Is yours just as fucking dumb?" 

"Nooo, it's actually kinda cute. I'm cuttlefishCuller," She smiled brightly, "Well, I do like marine biology, so I guess this name generator thing wasn't too far off." 

"Yeah, how did it now that I had a God complex while flipping tunes?" Dave questioned with a deadpan expression, slipping the piece of paper into his back pocket. Grabbing his bag from the floor and sliding it over one shoulder, he began to walk towards the door, the other three kids grabbing their bags and following suit. The last thing he needed was a chatting buddy, but if it was going to get his grade up he may as well participate. Sighing, he began the walk home, slipping on his headphones and letting his mind be brought away from whoever ectoBiologist was, and whoever John could be.


	5. >John: Be The Mystery Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, alright, the lyrics in the beginning of this are to Friday Night Gurus - by Studio Killer. 
> 
> I kid you not, that song is pretty much Dave Strider in a nutshell. Go listen to it, it's fabulous.
> 
> And now, onward!
> 
> -Hammer

"Where is the boy, who's bass is big and bold? Where is the boy who's beats are made of solid gold? They've got sound, funny how, funny how, funny how it flows. . . . . " 

John's foot was tapping to the beat of the song that was pouring smoothly from his headphones, which were draped around his neck as he as he looked at the little list he'd gathered that afternoon. A social experiment, huh? His teacher had asked for his help, and Ms. Paint was too nice to turn down when she needed a favor. She'd had three other kids volunteer for an online pen pal thing, that she promised an explanation for later, but needed a fourth. So, of course, John happily obliged, agreeing to stop by after school to meeting the other people in his group. 

He was more than a little surprised to discover that after school, when he visited Ms. Paints room to get the information, that he was tackled by no one other other than his cousin Jade.

"John!" She'd squealed happily, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she let him go. "I didn't know you were doing this! All Ms. Paint told us was that she got the final person for our group! Come here, I'm gonna introduce you."

"Whoa, hi Jade, I-"

"Shhh, new people now, no words." Ever since he'd found out 'the name' (Jade began calling it that after their Ben and Jerry's run, and John could only laugh and go along with it), his cousin had been doing everything in her power to cheer John up. It's not like he was even sad at this point, but more just. . . bummed. It had been two weeks, and he couldn't even bring himself to look for the guy. He knew he should, and he was more than a little conflicted. He'd been waiting for this person his entire life, and his father had helped him realize that he was being ridiculous. So what if it was a guy? However, after a lot of reflection and a pint of Pistachio Pistachio, he had a new fear. 

What if he himself wasn't good enough?

After sharing this fear with her, John was paying for it with Jades's want for him to be happy when he found this mystery guy.

She practically dragged him by his sleeve as she ran forward, tugging him over to two people who appeared to be in a light and annoyed conversation. The moment she popped into view, they're mouths zipped shut. A girl and a boy, the girl wearing red glasses which caused John to raise an eyebrow. The moment they were standing next to them and Jade said hello, the girl sniffed the air and smiled widely. "Good cologne," She laughed in reference to John, crossing her arms over her chest. 

". . . .Thank you?" John answered with a confused expression, and the boy across from her just shook his head. 

"That's her w-way of saying hello, you could say," He sighed, his wire framed glasses glinting from the lights above. "I'm Eridan, by the by. It appears that you know-w Jade?" Even with a stutter, this dude seemed to practically ooze confidence and superiority, a purple streak running through his perfectly groomed hair, and John could only blink owlishly in return. 

"This is my cousin, John," Jade introduced, before turning to the other girl, who tipped her head. "And John, this is Terezi." 

"Pleasure," She purred sarcastically, holding out her hand. John took at, shaking once before Terezi turned to look in Eridan's general direction. "Wow, a strong handshake, that's hard to find these days, wouldn't you say Ampora?" 

"Yes, w-well, maybe he could giv-ve you lessons too, but I think it's more of a v-visual tutorial." 

She reached out and swatted his shoulder, nearly missing and causing Jade to laugh.

"Guys!" Ms. Paint called out happily as she entered the room, her free range brown curls spilling loosely around her, "Over here, I printed out your sheets for you." As he was walking, John noticed that Terezi pulled out a cane, tapping the floor in front of her as she walked. Meeting them half way, she began to hand out each sheet, the last one seemingly blank but actually covered in small dots, which sent to Terezi's open hand. "Instructions are on the back, but rules are listed at the top, and I'm repeating them because you guys really can't stray from this! Don't give out any information about yourself. You can make small talk and all that fun stuff, but don't tell them name, age, where you live, yada yada yada," Rolling her hand, he laced her fingers together in front of herself, her fingernails having small hearts painted on them in various colors, "but have fun! You'll know them by their 'Chum Handles', and that's all. Hopefully, you guys make some friends, and get better acquainted with each other along the way!" 

Flipping the paper over in his hands, John looked at the instructions. He was going to have to talk to this stranger daily? It was going to be a bit of work, but overall it did seem kinda fun. It also said that the group he was in was going to be having a meeting with Ms. Paint once a month, as a way to get more results in progress. 

"Aww, look, we each have names!" Jade cooed, reading her own, "'gardenGnostic'? Aww, Ms. Paint, how did you know I liked gardening?" 

The teacher shrugged and waved her off with a small smile, "I tried to match the names accordingly, but I only had so many options, I apologize." 

"ectoBiologist?" Grinning, John looked up, "It's perfect!" 

"You've referenced Ghost Busters too many times in your papers to pass it up, not to even mention your major," The woman grinned. "Terezi, Eridan, was I at least close?" 

"gallowsCalibrator," Terezi felt out, her grin turning wicked, "I couldn't have chosen a better one." 

"You managed to get my fav-vorite Roman tyrant in this," Eridan noticed, nodding approvingly. "W-well done, Ms. Paint." 

"Now, first assignment, is to go home and introduce yourselves! Well, to the best of your ability with the stipulations given."

As it turned out, that was way easier said than done. 

And so here John was, listening to music and trying to a way to introduce himself to this complete stranger. "turntechGodhead," John muttered, tapping his desk in beat with the music, "What do I say?" 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 16:13 -- 

EB: uh, hi! i'm your penpal! 

 

Even after he'd already sent it, he sighed. He was gonna suck at this.


	6. Short and Sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am proud to present my partner in writing, Time, as the dialog for my Pesterchum!Dave~

Dave had barely even finished pressing 'create' before he got his first message. 

After going home, the blonde had to go through the super fantastic and fun process of making a stupid account for this horribly done website. He wasn't sure if it was trying to be edgy and modern with the design, or if it was just old, but the thing looked like it had the same format as the Oregon Trail. 

turntechGodhead has starved to death of human interaction, because he sure as hell isn't getting any from this thing. 

So after twenty minutes of setting it up, it glued itself to his toolbar (no matter how hard he tried, that thing was there to stay and that may or may not have made him even more pissed over this than he already was) and here he was, using his official sign in and finally creating this stupid account. It looked like his teacher had already gotten to it, because in his contacts was the name, 'ectoBiologist', and a window popped up like a viral attack of meeting singles in your area would have, only this having that stupid name plastered across the top along with a message and a bar at the bottom to type. 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 16:13 --

EB: uh, hi! i'm your penpal!

 

The script was a bright blue and blocky, and it almost looked familiar before Dave shrugged, brushing the thought away. So, ectoBiologist, huh? Two exclamation points in a single message? "Dude, relax, you're tense," Dave muttered, fingers flying across the keys as he tacked out his own message. 

 

TG: well sup

TG: stranger from washington school

TG: if that even is your real name

 

There was no response for a few moments, and Dave wondered if he would actually have to explain that yes, that as a fucking joke, when he got a message back. 

 

EB: you caught me, i guess. 

EB: the name's bond. ecto bond. i meld together the locations where the ghosts need me and take my souls shaken, not stirred.

TG: holy shit youre as nerdy as your name suggests 

TG: oh wait no swearing

TG: fuck

TG: mr spades gonna kill me

TG: new record less than ten messages in and ive already fucked up

EB: well i do have that effect on people, hehe. 

 

Raising an eyebrow, Dave actually gave a small smirk. Whoever this Ecto kid was, they were a major dork. 

 

EB: so, mr. spade? i'm going to assume that's your teacher for this whole little pen pal thing.

TG: good assumption there

TG: he's pretty much the most terrifying guy at our school

TG: with his crazy dagger collection and his gang friends

TG: shits creepy

TG: all he does is wear suits and slick back his hair while talking with an italian accent about how hes making offers that we just cant refuse

EB: are you seriously trying to convince me that your teacher is the halfassed version of the godfather? 

TG: no convincing needed

TG: these are cold hard facts

TG: okay not really

TG: well fine its all a conspiracy but i say something is fishy about that guy

EB: wow already i wanna move to texas. that sounds way cooler than washington!

EB: and i just realized that you may not be allowed to tell me about the whole teacher thing. i'm not sure if that's considered 'private information' or not. it may be against regulation.

TG: i could give two shits for the regulations here

TG: and those two shits probably shit their own two shits

TG: starting up an entire committee

TG: of shits that give no shits

EB: but that's four shits given.

EB: that's a lot of shits, meaning you care at least the value of four shits.

EB: your logic is already severely flawed, turntech!

TG: but were not talking math here friend

TG: were talking metaphor

TG: and if you plan on talking to me for the next six months 

TG: youre gonna wanna try to not look at things literally

EB: i can already tell this is going to be interesting, but i have errands to run. i'll talk to you more tomorrow!

 

Well that had been sudden. Frowning, Dave gave a small shrug and brushed it off before typing out the next line. 

 

TG: later

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 16:35 --

 

Huh. As much as he hated to admit it, the kid didn't seem too bad. He wasn't sure if it was a girl or boy, but the excessive action movie references had him leaning towards boy. and so far 'he' seemed to be pretty chill. 

Closing out of his PesterChum, Dave shut his laptop before grabbing his bag, planning on working on homework before getting a bite to eat. Within the next hour he'd completely forgotten about that invasive blue font, his fingers tapping out a beat as he worked on his Psych homework.


	7. Death Star-t

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I thank the every lovely Time for my assistance with the Pester dialog~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well guys, from this point on the chapters are going to be getting a bit longer, and perspectives may switch midway instead of chapter to chapter ^^ Not this one specifically, but it's gonna happen. Hope you still enjoy!

Two days had passed since John had even bothered to open his computer.

It wasn't that he was ignoring his chatting buddy, and in all actuality the stranger seemed kind of fun. They rambled a lot, and their metaphors were pretty terrible, but they had made John laugh, which lately was a bit more rare of an occurrence than he would have liked. He was actually kind of bummed that he didn't get to talk more to them. Still, he'd had to go for a grocery run, along with volunteering like he did every Tuesday, plus a four page essay in the inter workings of the human heart due by Friday. The next day was filled with even more classes, two of them taking up two hour blocks to themselves. Throw in a 'quick' run for a coffee break with Jade and her roommate, Nepeta, and his day was more full than he would have cared for. They both held his attention for an extra two hours, giving him a chance to breathe and relax, which he needed more than a little. The three of them talked, Nep flipping through her phone and showing John the pictures she'd taken of her and Jade's new kitten, and by the time he was sipping at the last bit of coffee in the bottom of the scratched, ceramic mug the world outside the café window was lilting into darker hues of pinks and purples. 

The walk back home allowed him to have some time to think, to give a few spare thoughts to Dave and if he should bother to begin looking for him that night. After a good twenty minutes of walking and watching the street lights flick on around him, John decided that tonight wasn't the night. It was already getting late, and yawning, he was reminded of the heavy bag on his back, filled with papers that needed to be written on, stories that needed to be created, and opinions that needed to be voiced.

John was lucky enough to be housed alone, seeing as he thought he would be terrible to live with with how picky he was about everything. He was unlucky in the fact that it was a good few miles off campus, making the commute draining each day. The rent wasn't nearly as bad as he'd thought it would be, but then again his Dad was still paying for his expenses, and when John insisted that he get a job of his own his father would just brush it off, claiming that, "School is the most important thing to focus on at the moment, John. I don't want you getting yourself stretched too thin, you're already taking three extra classes." Pushing through his front door, he'd slid off his bag and walked over, collapsing on his creaky microfiber sofa and passing out with his shoes still on, his oversized feet dangling over the arm of the piece of furniture. 

This meant him waking up at 3 in the morning and finishing his homework while he drank coffee straight from the pot before running out of his house at 9, one shoe only half way on and his phone ringing the National Treasure theme in a reminder that he had a class on campus in thirty minutes. 

By the time Friday rolled around, he'd managed to finish all needed homework, call his dad, clean his house, get a bit of extra studying in and find that he had an extra gap of time. 

He then realized that he should have been filling a small gap for the past two days as well.

Walking over to his laptop, he opened it and waited for it to power up, glancing around as he did so. His eyes fell on the list that Ms. Paint had handed out, and he felt actual guilt as he looked at the black letters spelling out his pen pals name. 

Waiting for his computer to pull up his log in screen, John tried to brush the feeling off; turntech had already specified that they thought the rules on this were shit. Maybe they would be more lenient on how often the two of them talked? Nodding to himself in a pathetic reassurance, he tapped in his login and password, his desktop pulling up immediately. The very second his computer connected to his Wi-Fi, the small PesterChum logo on his toolbar began flashing, alerting him that his pen pal wasn't as bad of a person as he was and making him sigh. 

Clicking it open, he frowned. 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:34 --

TG: so hey

TG: it doesnt say youre online but thought id drop down a hey

TG: shittily enough i dont think i could drop a good beat through this thing

TG: so hey will have to do

TG: you there ectonerd? 

TG: alright its been this thing as been pulled up for like an hour ill try again tomorrow

TG: later

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:39 --

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 17:44 --

TG: alright lets try this again

TG: you still ditching me? 

TG: wow i feel like the unwanted groomsman at a bridzilla wedding youre cold stranger

TG: youre probably just busy

TG: college schedules are kind of total bullshit

TG: like today for example on my end

TG: i just spent the last hour drawing one of the shittiest comics in creation

TG: and the entire time i had this window pulled up 

TG: do you see how crammed my life is? shits wack

TG: so yeah

TG: im just gonna go then 

TG: later

TG: again

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 19:02 --

Alright, now he most definitely felt guilty. Quickly tapping out a message, John forgot to even check if the stranger was online before pressing send, nibbling on his bottom lip in thought. 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 19:37 --

EB: hey! sorry about that, it's been a busy week. 

 

It was nearly five minutes before he got a response, a small beeping noise mingling with the beat of the music that was playing softly from his speakers as he found random things to do on the internet. 

 

TG: well holy shit you must be jesus

TG: throw up your bibles christ has risen on the third day

TG: obviously back from the dead

TG: because lets face it who else can leave a guy as cool as me hanging for that long without having the boundary of death between us? 

EB: you're horrible at this whole 'keeping it anonymous' thing. i already know you're teachers name and your gender .

EB: watch out, before too long i'll know how you take your coffee and if you like getting caught in the rain. or if you hate yoga, but really like champagne.

TG: alright shitty song references immediately get you back in my good book

TG: but seriously dont hang a brother out to dry like that

TG: a fellow child of the lord my holy brother

TG: or sister

EB: brother

TG: well look at you breaking the rules

TG: oh my god youre breaking the gender rules thats so fucking funny

TG: i'm already hand crafting my own little rebel

TG: now go blow up the death star

TG: were still reeling over our defeat on hoth

TG: this is the only way we can get back at the imperial scum

EB: hehehehe you know at first you seemed kind of cool but now i'm pretty sure that you're just a total nerd. 

TG: fuck that noise i am the coolest kid on the block ask anyone

EB: what about the kid who lives in an igloo? be accepting of all people, dude. 

TG: oh dont you even go there

TG: dont be that person or ill sick my terrifying professor on you

EB: well if he's that terrible i don't want him!

TG: he isnt terrible

TG: just stab happy

EB: stab happy?

EB: should i be worried for you and the other kids in this experiment?

TG: hypothetically speaking i mean

TG: he doesnt actually stab students

TG: that would be barbaric

TG: absolutely atrocious

EB: well ms. paint doesn't actually paint students, so you shouldn't have to worry on my end either

TG: thank god for that

EB: just imagine, all of us poor kids, covered from head to toe in paint.

EB: it's too vivid.

EB: i feel the paint now.

EB: oh nooooooo

TG: unwilling works of art crossing the street

EB: hehehehe if we fell we'd make little paint angels.

TG: silent pleas of help on in their eyes

EB: but our eyes would be covered in paint, godhead, that's kind of the point of 'head to toe'.

TG: god damn youd be blind

TG: crossing the streets and walking into walls

EB: we actually have a blind girl in our class, so we'd all just kind of follow her.

TG: leaving trails of your artwork on every surface you hit

TG: you poor souls

TG: quickly

TG: use your jesus powers to save them

 

John was flat out laughing at this point, his nose crinkling as he chuckled. 

 

EB: as much as i want to, i'm beat. sleep sounds like pretty much the best thing ever.

EB: well, besides saving my fellow class members!

TG: alright fine you buzzkill

TG: go crash well talk tomorrow

EB: g'night!

TG: later

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 21:08 --

 

Shutting his laptop again, John didn't even register that he was still smiling. Slipping off his shoes, he walked over to his bed and flopped down, wrapping himself up tightly in the blankets. As he began to drift off, he glanced at his right wrist, sighing. 

Tomorrow. 

He'd start looking tomorrow. 

. . . Maybe.


	8. If You Give A Robot A Sword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoa, little bits of angst. Sorry guys, it was gonna happen someday.
> 
> Edit: Apparently I accidentally posted the unedited version of this chapter, so there are a few changes. Nothing major, but there is more character interaction than the original posting let on ^^

And tomorrow never came. 

This time the fear was impending, it was haunting John in his sleep and making him sick. He missed three classes over the course of the three weeks, feeling the panic begin to roll in his stomach every time he looked at his wrist and feeling his heart go off kilter any time he sat at his computer to begin his search.

God he was the worst soulmate ever.

Or, well, at least that was his fear. Little did he realize that he was forcing it into reality. 

He was the one who wanted this! And now he couldn't even give a half hour to flipping through pictures of people named Dave, seeing if a face seemed to fit perfectly. He couldn't pull up Facebook, or a website that his soulmate may have been on. He just. . . . Couldn't.

He wanted them so badly, and yet he wasn't willing to do anything about it because he was afraid they would be disappointed with what they got. 

Part of him wanted to talk to Turntech about it. Over the past three weeks, and talking every day, he liked to consider that the stranger may actually be his friend. He'd found out that he had two older brothers, loved drawing horribly done comics (he sent one to John and the dark haired boy couldn't even respond for ten minutes out of laughing too hard) and that he was a musician. Well, of sorts. He used 'turntables', which John had never actually seen in real life and didn't really understand how to use. Point being, is that his pen pal sucked at anonymity. 

But, the rest of him realized that it rude to push his stupid relationship (or lack thereof) problems on his chatting partner. 

 

TG: its been ten minutes since you last responded dude

TG: ecto come back to earth

TG: head out of the clouds or out of your ass wherever it is

 

Shaking his head, John blinked a few times, John sighed. 

 

EB: sorry, just thinking.

TG: do i even want to know what about? 

EB: hehe, probably not. 

 

He'd been talking to Turntech for the past four hours, in between doing homework and playing a few crappy flashgames, and glancing at the clock he rolled his eyes. It was nearly one in the morning. 

 

EB: hey, i gotta

 

His finger hit send too early as his phone began blaring, causing him to jump and let out a yelp, falling from his chair.

 

TG: is this some type of weird poetry that im not getting? 

TG: is there a punchline to this? 

 

Picking up his phone, John smiled as he saw his fathers number on the screen, rubbing his elbow as he stood, the bone having broken his fall. His fathers name was lighting up the screen, the picture being that of the cake he'd made John for his 21st birthday.

Pressing 'answer', he put the phone up to his ear, typing to Godhead with one hand. "Hello?" 

 

EB: gotta go. bed. 

 

"John? I'm sorry to wake you," The man immediately apologized, his voice sounding tight. 

 

TG: jegus how much sleep can one guy need?

TG: go get your beauty sleep princess

TG: for all i know you may actually need it

TG: later

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 24:55 --

 

Closing his laptop, John's brow furrowed. "It's alright, Dad, you know you can call me whenever. Is everything okay?" He questioned, standing tall. 

"I feel ridiculous calling, but I'm not sure who else to talk to," There was a small sound, and John felt pity wash over him in tidal waves. It sounded like. . . sniffling. His dad was crying. 

"Hey, it's all alright. What happened?" 

There was silence on the other end, a few clinking sounds as things were moved around but otherwise no noise from the man himself for a good thirty seconds, "I tried calling your uncle Harley, but he wouldn't pick up, I- The name, my name, my-", there was a sigh, "It's gone." 

-

 

Flicking his laptop closed lazily, Dave looked around his dorm for a moment. The place was small, but he'd made it his own. And by that it meant there were swords sticking out at random places of the walls, turn tables taking up the only room in the house, and his bed was actually just the futon in the living room. But besides the point. Yawning, he forced himself to stand, planning on passing out for the next ten hours when his phone went off, buzzing against his leg.

Sliding it out of his pocket, he arched a white blonde eyebrow. Why the fuck was an unknown number calling him at three in the morning? 

Tapping on 'accept call', he put the phone to his ear, "Yeah?" 

"Mr. Strider?" The voice was formal and female, causing Dave's confusion to deepen even further, "You're listed as your brother's emergency contact? We're calling regarding Brodrick Jeffery Strider." 

Freezing completely, Dave felt his heart stop for a second as he blinked. "Yeah, that's him. What happened, is he alright?" Thoughts began to flow like water; Bro being hit by a car, Bro falling from the roof while practicing strifing, Bro getting stabbed by one of the swords in the fridge, Bro- It was then that he remembered that Bro has a bit more coordination than that, and would have been able to stop himself from those types of injuries. Still, that didn't stop Dave's breathing from speeding up as he stared at his door. 

"He's in surgery, at the moment. There appeared to be an accident today, his femoral artery was severed by a blade, we'll need you to come down to Memorial Hospital to answer a few medical questions."

"Femoral-" Letting out a hiss through his teeth, Dave winced at the idea of Bro getting hit, and could only imagine who he must have been strifing with. Probably Cal, but Bro's not stupid enough to get injured that way. Dirk wasn't in town, was he? "Is he okay?" Dave asked, not realizing exactly how quickly he was moving as he grabbed his keys, stuffed his feet messily into his shoes and pushing the tongue down with his toes while he hopped out of his dorm. 

The hallways around him were blurs as his feet hit the ground, the phone pressed tightly enough against his ear that he was sure there would at least be a few indents.

"Right now they're working on stitching up the wound, but we do need to request permission for a blood transfusion," She stated lightly, and Dave wondered vaguely how much she hated her job. All she did all day was tell people horrible things about the people they cared about. God, that must fucking suck.

"Blood transfusions, human sacrifice, I don't care, just don't let him die," Dave fumbled his phone as the word fell from his mouth, and watching the IPhone drop to the ground he let out a groan, picking it back up. It was still on, but the screen was shattered beyond all recognition. Deciding it was too distracting, he ended the call, dropping his phone into his pocket carelessly as he reached his car. 

"Fucking swords," He cursed under his breath, forcing his hand to still so he could get his key in the door of the thing to unlock it. It took three times (new record) and even then Dave's knee smacked into the steering wheel as he shoved himself into the thing. Turning his car on, he didn't even bother to buckle as he slammed down on the gas, roaring out of the parking lot to his dorms. 

-

 

The name came and went for the next half hour.

John wanted to go back home, but it was a two hour drive and he didn't even have a car. His father was moderately distraught, and after managing to calm him down some, he figured out that it had been blinking out of existence for nearly an hour before that as well. 

By the time two in the morning rolled around, the name was solid once more, and his father seemed a bit more calmed down. The man apologized profusely, insisting that it was ridiculous that he would call his son for emotional support, but John only waved him off, saying that he would have done the same and smiling softly. 

Eventually he let a yawn slip out, and his Dad apologized again by saying that he shouldn't have kept him up. 

"Next time, I'll call Uncle Harley," He promised, and John only scoffed. 

"You tried that, remember? Dad, relax! It's fine! If anything comes up again, call me, it's fine, I promise. You panicked, it's alright, anyone else would have done the same." 

"Still, I'm a grown man for goodness sake," His elder responded. 

"A grown man who nearly lost something important. You've been calm and collected my whole life, I can see why you would break over this. Plus, people talk to their kids about things that are important to them, this obviously was a bit more serious than any other conversation we've had. It was needed." 

". . . Alright. Thank you, John." 

"Not a problem, Dad." 

Clicking his phone off when his dad insisted that he should get some sleep and apologized once more, John looked at the screen for a moment before looking at his right wrist. The name was as bright and as bold as ever, and setting his phone down he let his fingers brush over it softly. 

Walking over, he opened his computer back up, blinking against the sudden brightness and squinting when he realized he's taken his glasses off beforehand. 

He'd been avoiding finding Dave for nearly a month now, and now it was happening. Slipping his glasses on, he cracked his knuckles, swallowing.

It was tomorrow, and he was determined. 

-

"You're a fucking idiot," Dave snapped, hitting his brother with a pillow and scoffing when the man just let out a small huff. They were currently residing on the third floor of their local hospital, somewhere where they'd seen far too often from stupid injuries, but this time, things were different.

"I didn't plan for it to happen, fucktard, it just kind of did," Bro said, wincing heavily as he tried to shift his leg. Reaching over, Dave pressed the button on Bro's IV to give him more pain medication, but wore a scowl as he did so.

"You challenged a robot to a fucking sword fight!"

"It was Sawtooth, I didn't think he'd be that good! He was built for rapping, not battling, and I wanted a strife. Ever since you moved out, I'm getting soft."

"You built him, dumbass! You should know if he could actually get a good hit on you or not!" 

Dave was absolutely furious. By the time he'd gotten to the hospital, they'd just been wheeling Bro out of the OR. Dave had sat around for hours, answering various medical and financial questions while waiting for his brother to wake up, all while dealing with the dealing with the irrational fear that he may never wake up. It wasn't until 6 in the morning that the asshole managed to open an eye, which he promptly closed when he realized he wasn't wearing his pointed shades. But, then again, hitting him with the pillow had made him glare at Dave, so he was now staring at his brother with invasive orange eyes. His hat was sitting next to his shades by his bed, and Dave had a strong urge to snap the things in half.

"It's fine, Dave, calm your shit, I'm fine." Blinking at the onslaught of light as he looked up again, Bro closed his eyes. 

"You almost weren't. Four blood transfusions, Bro, four. I think you can count high enough to understand that it's a fucking lot," Scrubbing at his eyes under his shades with his fingertips, Dave let out a frustrated growl, "You could have been more hurt than this."

"It was just a strife, what the fuck are you freaking out over?" Bro replied, peaking at his younger bro through squinted eyes. A few things took him by surprise, but none more than the fact that the kids usual pale face was an odd shade of red, and the tip of his nose was too. 

"You nearly bled out," Dave pointed out, the words shaky, "You nearly-" Finally, his voice cracked as his head dropped, his shoulders shifting as hair escaped his chest in little huffs. 

Bro was quiet for a minute before reaching out, grabbing the front of his little brother's shirt and hauling him into a hug. "I'm fine," He assured, patting his brother's back as Dave failed to relax, "It's alright." 

"You're a dick," Dave muttered against his chest, sniffling. He hadn't cried in as long as Bro could remember, and it nearly made him feel guilty. But instead of saying that, the older of the two just flicked the side of his head, albeit a bit lighter than usual.

"Yeah, but I'm a dick that you don't wanna lose, so shut up and enjoy the hug."


	9. Ah, Yes, The Monthly Review

"Pleathe, thomebody, thwitch with me." 

The words were out the very moment the four of them got their orders, which were taken at a diner a few minutes of walking distance away from campus. 

It had been one month since this whole project started. Dave had never ended up bothering to tell Ecto about the whole thing with his brother, but they hadn't talked much the day after that anyways. He'd logged on at 4 PM and after typing for a few minutes, noticed that his friend wasn't really making a lot of sense and had made a fuckton of typing errors. When asked about it, the stranger admitted that he hadn't slept since they last talked, and Dave yelled at him for ten minutes before making him log of to crash. That was roughly a week ago, and the moment Sollux made the request, Dave took a sip of his coffee.

"Sorry bro, not a fucking chance."

"Karkat? Fef? One of you guyth, pleathe, thith guy ith fucking batthit."

"Oh, come on Sollux, he really can't be that bad! What happened?" Fef asked, stirring her tea to mix the honey and sugar that had accumulated at the bottom. 

"Apparently he's making fun of Sollux's typing and overall just trying to piss him off," Karkat mumbled, taking a bite of his bagel, "I'd laugh but after reading a few of the logs, the guy's kind of a dick."

"Your typing?" Dave questioned, which only made the the lisping boy roll his eyes. 

"I kinda thow how I talk normally through it."

"How the actual fuck is replacing your 's's with 2's a way of showing that you sound like your mouth of full of marbles?" 

"Thut up." 

"Nah but seriously, you'd do great in Nirvana. Smells Like Teen Spirit and unintelligable garble." Karkat let out an angry noise as his bagel was hit up to his nose, getting cream cheese on his face as he glared at Sollux, who merely raised a dark brown eyebrow. 

"Well I don't see a problem with that. I used to replace my 'h's with parenthesis when my 'h' was broken. Even after I got a new laptop, it was kinda hard to go back to using the correct key strokes. Maybe at this point it's just habit," Feferi pointed out, finally taking a sip of tea and sighing that it wasn't steeped enough. 

"Thee? At leatht thhe knowth how not to be a total fuck," Sollux sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face, his wire framed oval glasses getting knocked slightly askew, "At firtht it wath all fine, but then he tharted mocking me about it." 

"What did he do?" Dave asked, now kinda curious as he downed the last bit of scalding coffee in his cup. 

"He started doubling all of his 'w's and 'v's, just to be an asshole," Karkat shrugged, finishing off wiping his face on his napkin. "Yet this idiot is too cowardly to say shit about it." 

"Why don't you just ask him to stop?" Feferi queried, "Maybe it wasn't supposed to be mean, maybe he was just trying to relate."

"Even bethideth that, he'th a jerk. He'th one of thothe popular kidth that thinkth he can walk all over everyone jutht becauthe he'th got rich parentth and a pretty face." 

"He told you that?" 

"No, Gallows told me that," Karkat offered up, "Apparently he's this pompous, pretty boy asshole. But I kinda think that Gallows hates him too." 

"Well still, sorry dude, but I'm pretty set with my guy, you'll have to get set with your own." Plucking idly at his bacon, Dave let out a yawn. He'd been staying at his Bro's place since he'd gotten hurt and would be for the next few weeks, and the commute from there to the campus was a lot longer than usual. He was having to wake up almost two hours earlier than before, and it was getting old. But, on the bright side, his shades were hiding the dark circles, so he had that going for him.

"And I'm really fond of my person as well. Garden is really wonderful! She's nice, and really funny, but not as happy as I wish she was," Fef gave a small pout, lifting and dropping the tea bag into her drink to speed up the steeping process, "Apparently her cousin is all depressed and stuff and she's having to help him a lot."

"Thhe liveth with her couthin?" Sollux asked, and Fef chuckled. 

"No! She told me that they go to the same campus, but she seemed kinda dodgy when I asked for more information."

"Well, maybe, now bear with me on this, the other people in this god awful project actually try not to give away all their fucking information like we do?" Karkat adopted a fake, bewildered expression, "Wow I'm a fucking genius." 

"Nah, you're just kind of a dick," Dave yawned out, twisting in his seat to stretch his shoulders. 

"Well from what Sollux has shown me and from what I can tell, you guys don't really know the art of anonymity, which is really fucking sad because everyone else in the world does."

"But Karkat, there'th a difference between uth and them," Sollux pointed out, "Aquarium pointed out that they all actually like their teacher." 

At this Karkat actually paused before shrugging, taking another bite of bagel, "Well I guess that is kind of a good reason." 

"So Karkat, how's your chatting partner?" Fef asked, finally taking a long drink of her tea as she looked at the black haired boy expectantly. 

"She's insane, types like an idiot, and is blind." 

"And?" 

"And I'm not switching, sorry Sollux." 

"Fuck you too KK." 

-

"W-what a joke," Eridan scoffed, sipping at his latte and pushing his glasses off the bridge of his nose, "Terezi, I w-will pay you to sw-witch."

She gave a soft laugh, her grin demeaning as she brushed him off, "Not a chance. I'm having too much fun with mine as it is. His caps lock his broken so my automatic reader has been speaking with the most ridiculous tone, and so I started fucking up all of my typing just to see how he'd react. So far he's logged off out of rage six times." 

"John? Please, I'm desperate to get rid of this v-vile low-wlife." 

John looked almost guilty as he sipped at his coffee, his eyebrows tipping down on the far ends, "I'm sorry Eridan, but I really do like my partner. Turntech actually seems really nice, I don't want to switch him." The Starbucks they sat in was bustling for a Tuesday, and Jade finally came back with her white mocha, sitting down with a big grin. 

"Sorry! The barista and I were talking, she's really nice! So what did I miss?" 

"Jade, seeing as both John and Terezi lov-ve seeing me liv-ve in misery, please, assist me." 

"Eridan, what are you even talking about?" Jade actually looked bewildered, and Terezi started cackling, taking a small bite of her cakepop. 

"Eridan, stop making this poor girl think that she's going to be saving your life," Turning towards Jade's general direction, Terezi rolled her eyes behind her red tinted glasses, "He wants to switch out his chatting partner." 

"What?! Why?" Frowning ridiculously, Jade wrapped both of her hands around her drink before taking the smallest of sips, "How could you want to switch?" 

"He's ridiculous. He types with tw-wo's instead of s's, sw-wears a surprising amount, and not to mention that he's more focused on computer programming than on his schooling. Ev-ven that I could tolerate, but now-w he's ignoring me and I refuse to put up w-with such impertinence." 

"Wait, he's ignoring you?" John raised an eyebrow, his own coffee cold and nearly gone as he set it aside, "Why?"

"I hav-ven't the slightest idea!" Eridan snapped out, putting his drink on the table with more force than necessary, "W-we'd been talking regularly, and then suddenly he gets tight-lipped and angry before logging off. That w-was four days ago." 

"Did you maybe do something?" Jade queried, looking understanding and concerned as Terezi chuckled. 

"Maybe he was himself?" The blind girl asked, finishing off her cakepop, "That should be enough to deter anyone."

"I didn't do anything differently," Eridan insisted, glaring at Terezi, "I w-was simply the same as normal." There was a small pause before he rolled his eyes, "Alright perhaps I did one thing differently." 

"Which was?" 

"W-well, he was using his tw-wo's, so. . . I simply began doubling my w-w's and v-v's," If John didn't know any better, he could had sworn Eridan blushed as he looked down at the table, "But I w-wouldn't hav-ve done so if I had thought it w-would elicit this kind of a reaction!" 

"Awwww, you showed your own speech impediment!" Terezi cooed, wearing a toothy grin, "How adooooorable. You two really are a match made in heaven." 

"W-What?" Eridan asked, looking up with a slightly startled expression. 

"Geneticist was asking me why you were such an insufferable prick, and I didn't know how he knew until now. Apparently your little buddy has a lisp, hence the ridiculous typing. You showing yours, well," she raised her eyebrows highly as she took a drink, "He probably thought you were mocking him. Carcino was fairly angry, I'm assuming you upset him."

Silence fell over the group until Eridan scoffed, shaking his head, "That couldn't be it. I'v-ve been perfectly cordial up until this point, he surely w-wouldn't be that petty." Scoffing, he nodded, agreeing with himself, "Surely he w-was just being ridiculous, and I stand by my w-want to sw-witch aw-way from him. I don't need someone like that draining my attention and time." 

"If you insist," Terezi sighed dramatically, turning her attention to the other two people at the table, "So, what about you two? Having any fun?" 

"Loads! Cuttlefish is fabulous! She's so nice, and apparently her name was chosen at random so now she makes tons of fish puns as a joke," Jade smiled almost fondly as she took another small sip of her drink, "She's also the only girl in her group, so if you guys didn't know genders before, you do now." 

"Yeah, Turntech kind of told me on the first day," John shrugged, his grin crooked. "And yeah, I have been having fun. He's ridiculous, and horrible at drawing, but he raps constantly and makes the stupidest puns. That, and he makes really cool music. He's a total dork."

"According to Cuttlefish he's a cute one too," Jade giggled. When John blushed and waved her off, she looked at the other two, "What, you can't tell me you're not curious what my girl thinks of all your guys." 

"No such thing!" Eridan bit out, shaking his head, "I'v-ve no interest in know-wing w-what Tw-wins looks like, none at all." 

"He's a bruneeette," She sang, and Eridan bit on his bottom lip to keep from asking questions. "Tall, too." 

"Tall?" All three of the other kids laughed as Eridan finally looked up. Compared to him at 6'1, most people were short, so hearing that word must have been welcome.

"Uh huh! Apparently he also has glasses. From what I could tell, she thought he was really handsome. Well, not with his glasses, I guess? I guess he's got a Clark Kent thing going, when the glasses are off, all the girls swoooon."

"Mine next, I want to know what information I can use to freak Geneticist out," Terezi asked gleefully. 

"Apparently he's really short, she said that he's about 5'5," Jade snorted, "Black hair, brown eyes, swears a lot, but has a really endearing button nose and freckles. She said he would be actually be quite the cutie if he weren't so rude." 

"Huh. And how tall am I?" Terezi questioned. 

"Probably 5'4?" 

"Well he doesn't have to know that," She smirked. 

"And yours, John," John blushed again as Jade turned to him, "has white hair." 

"W-White? How-w old is this person?" Eridan queried. 

"No, he has white-blonde hair, he's not old," She corrected, rolling her eyes. "Also, he apparently is always wearing sunglasses. Always. Indoors, outdoors, at nighttime, no matter what the weather he's always wearing them. That and she said he's hot." 

John was simply fiddling with his cup, "I don't need to know this! Him and I are still keeping this anonymity thing going, and you're breaking that!"

"What can I say? A girl's gonna gossip," She grinned almost wickedly but it soon turned sweet as she went back to her drink, "And you can't tell me that you weren't curious." 

There was a moment of silence before Eridan cleared his throat, "How-w tall?" 

The group laughed again at the boy's expense as he sighed, taking another drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? Questions? Concerns? Cool commentary, corrections, or fanart? Wanna say hi? Message me at orarewedancy.tumblr.com and I'll take anything you're willin to give me ^^


	10. You're Just All Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Literally all dialog, that's it. My Pesterchum!Dave was the lovely Time, my writing partner in crime. It's just a bit of what I'd imagine John and Dave's usual conversations being, a glimpse i guess into learning more about each other.

Three in the morning on a Wednesday and John couldn't be bothered to even stop talking to Turntech.

 

EB: you know, i'm actually kind of surprised.

TG: surprised?

EB: yeah. out of all of the usernames, yours seemed the most tame, and you kinda seem like the rebel of the group.

TG: if turntech godhead sounds tame to you i don't want to know your definition of wild is

EB: thornberrys.

EB: thornberrys. that is the very definition of wild right there, stranger.

TG: oh my god

TG: that show

EB: was a masterpiece?

TG: my bro wouldnt let me watch it for such a long time

TG: reminded him of some guy

EB: no way, really? 

TG: i didnt get to watch it until i turned thirteen god damn

EB: why thirteen?

TG: i really dont think the age had any significance

TG: i just didnt get to watch the damn show until i was in my early teenage years

EB: but come on, you gotta admit, it's pretty great!

TG: it is pretty great ill give you that

EB: so what, did your bro just block you from using the tv or something?

TG: not the tv as a whole

TG: just the one show

TG: he blocked it

EB: wow, must have been pretty serious then.

TG: yeah apparently it was this dude who traveled all the time

TG: he stopped by texas and bro met him but died or some shit after he left

TG: whatever it was he lost contact him and probably just assumes that the old guy is dead

TG: when i got into my early teens i figured out the parental controls

EB: my dad never found the need to use them, he kind of trusted me from the moment he got me.

TG: thats some iron trust

TG: the access to television programs

TG: bro was very careful with us

TG: but we still turned out pretty mutually fucked up

EB: did your bro raise you?

TG: yep

TG: closest thing to a dad i have

TG: taught me the ways of irony as an infant

TG: taught me how to strife

EB: strife? you had fights with your older brother?

TG: well yeah

TG: up on the rooftops

EB: i'm not really good with the whole sibling thing, but that sounds a bit extreme.

EB: what do you mean 'well yeah'?! other people don't do that!

TG: of course its extreme

TG: thats how this family is

EB: wow, you guys are pretty much the exact opposite of me.

EB: my dad and i are pretty laid back. 

TG: the complete opposite huh

TG: so you have home cooked meals every night

TG: go to bed early without a single huff of disagreement

EB: yeah, usually. he loves cooking. although there is a lot of cake throwing. and pranks.

TG: pranks you say

TG: youve got yourself a pranksters gambit

TG: damn ive always wanted one of those

EB: well of course! pranking is in my blood!

EB: i think.

EB: i wouldn't really know.

EB: but i like to think that it is.

TG: ive built up my irony to high to get me one of those

TG: in your blood

TG: id have a doctor check that out man

TG: sounds pretty serious

EB: it really is a concern.

EB: so judging by the context, i'm guessing you guys don't really do the whole 'home cooked meal' thing?

TG: hell no

TG: we had takeout nearly every night of the week

TG: and the nights that we didnt were usually special occasions

EB: how are you not dead? that's so unhealthy!

EB: then again that's coming from a guy who's dad bakes cakes literally every single day.

TG: trust me i know

TG: the only reason none of us are morbidly obese is because of our crazy metabolisms

TG: wait your dad bakes cakes every single day?

TG: thats precious

EB: yeaaaaaaaah. no. no it's not. i hate cake so badly because of it. i can't even stand the smell.

TG: aw man I would eat that cake

TG: how could you hate it?

TG: well of course besides the fact that you were probably raised on it

TG: i could see how that would get pretty tiring after a while

EB: i used to really love cake, because when i was really little it was only ever a treat item. but when he got me, he decided that since i loved it, he'd make it constantly.

EB: i was all chub until i was about 8 and decided that all cake was directly from hell.

TG: that is adorable

EB: shut up, it is not.

TG: it totally is

EB: well now every time i'm back from college he keeps trying to force feed me cake, saying that i'm too thin and stuff. which doesn't make sense, because he's thin too. eh.

TG: poor old guy just loves you

TG: you told him you love cake

TG: he fucking remembered

EB: oh my god he's so not old that's the worst part. he's like, 38.

TG: well hes older than you

TG: older than i am

TG: therefore he is an old man for the time being

EB: that doesn't make him old. that just makes him /older/.

TG: give your old man an embrace from me

TG: he gets a gold star

TG: A+ parenting

EB: feeding your child cake for most of their lives is not good for them!

EB: but he really is an amazing dad.

TG: my bro is a badass

TG: so hes got that going for him

EB: you know i just realized something

TG: whats that then? 

EB: you haven't used a single metaphor this entire conversation

TG: well then shit thats my cue

EB: wait you can't just leave because of that!

TG: i can and i will

TG: a lack of metaphors is unhealthy as piss

EB: wait isn't pissing healthy though? 

EB: i feel like that should be a natural act.

TG: that and its four in the morning here and i have class

TG: talk to you later dork

EB: fiiiiiiiine. talk to you tomorrow!

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 04:32 --

 

Dave gave a small smile, yawning before dropping his phone to the floor, passing out sprawled across his futon near instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Need something, wanna talk or just have a question? Message me at orarewedancy.tumblr.com ~


	11. Sorry, But You're Wrong

It was two months into their school project when John had realized. 

It had started off with just smiling. Turntech was funny! He made dumb metaphors, he rapped for long stretches at a time, he drew John comics. He was a good friend, and always cheered John up.

But then things became a little more serious. Turntech trusted him sooner than John would have thought he would, and John returned the favor with an actual amount of vigor. Turntech shared worries for his brother. Apparently he'd gotten hurt a few weeks back, and it had freaked him out more than a little. He told stories of growing up being raised by someone who's only eight years older than you. He shared worries that he wouldn't get a good job with his major. So John reciprocated. He told Turntech about being adopted, about how he was worried of making his Dad upset at any point because he would fail at anything he tried. He admitted that he was terrified of the future, which made Turntech laugh because 'dude that is so fucking common dont freak out over that shit everyone has to face it with you the future isnt just not gonna come'. 

He'd thought he'd just made a close friend. A close friend who he wanted to meet really really badly.John didn't even realize what he was feeling until he nearly had a panic attack in public, catching himself daydreaming about finally meeting the mystery white haired boy and kissing him senseless. 

It was interesting, that there was no big freak out over the fact that Turntech was a guy. John could only have a big freak out over the fact that he was fantasizing about kissing someone who wasn't his mate. 

He didn't even know where it came from! One moment he'd been walking in the mall, planning on buying a new pair of pants, and suddenly his face was against some guys in his mind and oh dear lord what was he doing.

He didn't tell anyone. He was afraid that he would come off as either A: an insensitive jerk, B: ignorant or C: Someone who's chill with infidelity.

He tried to ignore it. 

So far, he'd been doing a pretty good job. There weren't any more surprise daydreams to suddenly attack him as he was walking.

Part of him wondered if it was going to go away. 

The dream that woke him up by making him feel distinctly uncomfortable and in need of a towel to mop up nervous sweat assured that it was, in fact, not leaving at all.

But hidden it remained, planning on never being brought to fruition nor to public knowledge.

Two and a half months into their school project is when Jade finally realized why John had been acting like an idiot.

She'd been talking Cuddlefish, having one of their late night talks when it was brought up. The girl was wrapped tightly in her bright green feather blanket, eating cake from a mug while tapping her toes to the beat of the music pouring from stereo across the room. Jade decorated the place to match her personality; it was erratic, colorful, and bright. White fairy lights hidden in lanterns were strung around the borders of her rooms, making the need for the light up on the ceiling completely useless as her walls were covered in random posters, drawings, and the occasional gun rack holding one of the prize guns that her father had taught her to use over the years. It was the complete opposite of Nepeta's room, which was across the hall and completely filled to the brim with plushies and rich red colorings, making it feel warm even in the winter. Nep had gone to bed hours ago, snoozing a room away. That night their cat had decided to bunk with Nep, leaving Jade to fill the space it left with a delicious mug full of baked cake batter and chocolate chips and a stuffed squiddle. Hearing another ping, she looked down at her laptop, not realizing that she'd spaced out momentarily.

 

CC: )(ave you noticed if -Ecto )(as been acting weird too? 

 

Jade frowned, sitting back on her bed and setting her mugcake aside. 

 

GG: why would he be acting weird? :?

CC: Because! Turntec)( )(as been acting differently! -Every time I see )(im in class )(e's on )(e's computer, and according to Twins )(e's always talking to -Ecto!!

GG: well why is that a bad thing? we talk all the time too!

 

It was true. Jade and Cuddlefish were practically attached at the hip. Well, as much as you could be with someone across the US that you'd never really met. They had made fast friends, just like John and Turntech apparently, but for the first time since they'd began talking Jade was lost with Cullers logic.

 

CC: T)(is is different. Turntec)( is one of t)(e coolest cats on t)(e block!!! )(e wouldn't be caug)(t dead smiling usually, but lately t)(at's all )(e seems to be doing. Plus during t)(e last two group meetings, )(e seems to be almost giddy. As giddy as a cool kid can be, but not t)(e point. Point is, is )(e's. . . )(appier t)(an before all t)(is. 

GG: okay so hes different but why would ecto be acting differently too? 

CC: Well, after talking wit)( Geneticist, we t)(ink t)(at maybe Turntec)( )(as a. . . . u)(. . . 

GG: come ooooon

CC: It's mostly because of )(ow )(e talks about )(im, as well as )(ow )(e seems to be quite fond of learning about )(im from t)(e rest of us-

GG: cull spit it out!!!

CC: We t)(ink )(e )(as a crus)( on )(im. And by t)(e way )(e's been acting, we're t)(inking t)(at -Ecto reciprocates t)(at feeling. Or, at least, leading Turntec)( on to t)(ink t)(at )(e does. 

 

Jade paused, her interested smile dropping quickly to a blank face.

One might not understand, when looking at the situation from a different stand point. 

Let this be explained. Crushes were something that little kids were allowed to have, and even that was pushing it. Maybe there was someone who you really wanted to be paired with, and in a few rare cases, you were, but usually. . . To everyone over 21, crushes were a total taboo. You already have someone out there waiting for you, someone literally crafted to be there for you at any turn, and yet you love another. It's a rather large insult, not to mention it goes against your own fate. Many people tried to avoid the subject completely, and children were taught at a young age that just because you liked someone, didn't mean you were meant for them. So hearing this, Jade nearly blanched. 

 

GG: theres no way! he would have told me if

 

Jade paused, frowning. Her mind flicked back to before and after this whole thing, before and after John had started talking to this guy. He's always been happy, but after The Name he'd gotten down, and suddenly. . . . he wasn't. More smiles, more of his old self back, like how he'd been before The Name. Plus, over the past two meetings, he really had been gushing about Turntech. He seemed so invested in talking about him, and when Eridan prodded that they seemed to have discussed a rather large range of items, John had admitted that they talked a 'bit' more than probably needed for Ms. Paints standards. But he'd also been getting skittish and avoiding certain topics about Turntech, as if he were nervous or something-

Oh no.

 

GG: i gotta go!

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering cuddlefishCuller [CC] at 01:12 --

 

-

John stumbled blindly to his door, blinking heavily and tiredly as his steps lilted to the left. Managing to scramble in the darkness and hit his hand across the doorhandle, he opened it up, praying that the ominous, incessant ringing of his apartment buzzer would stop. Yanking the door open, he let out a small groan at the brightness, a hand coming up to shield his eyes as a hand met the center of his chest, shoving him back into his apartment. The heavy door fell shut as John landed on his butt, looking up into the darkness and having to squint to get a silhouette. 

"Jade?"

"What are you doing?!" She snapped out, putting her hands on her hips as John's eyes fought to adjust to the darkness. 

"Sleeping? Or I was until you came busting down my door! It's two in the morning, what are you even doing here?" Pushing himself to stand, John readjusted his worn tee shirt, his pyjama pants dragging on the floor due to their sheer bagginess as he walked over, flipping on his living room light and having to fight to see again. 

There stood his cousin, an annoyed expression painted over her face, fuzzy slippers gracing her feet, her long hair pulled up into the messiest bun possible and her arms crossed over her chest. "With Turntech, John, don't play dumb with me, it doesn't work." 

John paused, his pupils still fighting to adjust as he stopped completely. There was no way she could know, was there? "I don't know what you're talking about." 

"When I told you he was hot I didn't mean for you to start flirting with him!"

"Excuse me?" He bit out, crossing his arms across his own chest. 

The two of them stood, facing each other with matching expressions and stances of annoyance. Well, that was until Jade's morphed into worry and concern, her hands dropping to her sides, "You have your mate out there, what are you doing? Culler told me that you two have something going on, and it needs to stop. Now." 

"How would your pen pal have any idea? He doesn't tell his group anything!" John defended, glaring at Jade's blurry shape the best he could with his unglassed eyes. "And we're not doing anything, we're just friends. I don't even known what you're talking about." 

"Apparently he's not as secretive as he would like. How often are you guys talking?" She questioned, raising her eyebrows. 

"Uh-" Swallowing, John gave a shrug, "Once a day, just like everyone else." 

"For how long?"

"Why does it matter?! Why did you come over at two in the morning to find out my talking habits? Why do you even care?" 

"Because, John! Because I'm trying to protect you! Because this isn't fair to your mate, and this isn't fair to you! Getting yourself emotionally attached to a stranger who is hundreds of miles away isn't good, nor healthy. Not to mention that even having a crush is so freaking insulting to both your and your partner."

"Well why should it matter?!" He snapped out loudly, causing Jade to pause. 

"What?" 

"Why should it matter if I like him? Alright, why does it even matter? If my soulmate is out there, fine, but for right now they're not there and he is. We talk, we are close, and he's my friend. Who cares if I like him a little more than I should? I am allowed to do what I want, damn it, I'm an adult. My mate hasn't made any attempt to find me, or contact me, and he has. Plus, when this project is over he's probably not even going to want to talk with me again. Why should it matter to anyone? You don't need to be worried, I'm not going to hop on a plane down to Texas and meet up with Turntech, I'm not going to do anything rash or stupid. I'm breaking my own heart in this situation, thank you, and I do not need someone yelling at me at two in the morning for it!" Sighing, he covered his eyes, collapsing to sit on his couch, "So to answer your question as to what I'm doing, I haven't the slightest clue. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm doing it, and it's my stupid mistake to make." 

John had thought about this more and more often than he would have liked. It had only been half a month ago when he realized what he was feeling, and he even went as far as to avoid talking to Turntech for too long each day for nearly a week to wait and see if the feelings would recede. But they didn't. It was funny, in a way, that on his birthday he'd been freaking out that his mate was a boy, and here he was getting a crush on one. Funny, but horrible. But that was beside the point. The point was that after all this time, he couldn't help but like his penpal. It was dumb, and irresponsible, not to mention that it was painful. It was painful because Turntech wouldn't feel the same way, and that in three and a half months he was losing him when this entire project was over. He would never meet him, and it wouldn't really matter in the end. But he still couldn't help himself. 

He knew what Jade was trying to do, and he was thankful that she was trying to snap some sense into him. He was ruining this friendship and he was ruining his own lovelife without a single care. Over some boy who wore sunglasses indoors and had some sort of addiction to applejuice.

Just amazing.

Silence filled the room as Jade walked over, sitting next to her cousin on the sofa. There was a total of five minutes of silence before Jade lifted a hand, patting at her cousins back. "Is he worth this?" She questioned quietly, and it didn't come out malicious in the least. It came out curious, but also worried. 

His head tipped up and down slowly. In an instant, John's shoulders were shaking slightly, his hands continuing to cover his face as his eyes began to well up. This was embarrassing. He'd been ignoring it, or trying to, but it just wasn't working. He hadn't even been the one to give this feeling light to the public, it had been Turntech himself. And now he was guilty. He was guilty because Jade was totally right. It was comparable to having an affair, but he didn't even know more than the name of the guy he was supposedly cheating on.

Poor Dave. 

Frowning, she leaned her head on his shoulder, letting out a small sigh as John pulled in a shaky breath. "Tavros." 

"What?" He asked, letting out a small sniffle as he peaked up to look at her. 

"He was this guy I liked. Super nice, kinda awkward, had a mohawk. I always thought that I'd get his name on my wrist I really did. We'd been friends since I was little, and we always got along. And I told him that, and he thought that it would be the same way around. So I waited for it. I waited to be able to call him 'mine'," She smiled at the memory, letting out a small sigh, "And when I turned twenty one, I looked at my wrist and instead of seeing his name, I saw this beautiful purple. Tyrian purple is what it's called, after looking it up. But I was crushed. When I broke the news to him, so was he, but then again it's not like I could change it. So I had to let that crush die, and it hurt. Badly." 

"But-" Wiping at his eyes, he looked at his cousin, "When you found your name out you seemed so happy." 

"It was an act, John. I missed him for weeks. Not only was he my crush, but he was my best friend." Swallowing, she patted John's back again, "But I know how it feels. Yet that name on your wrist, you have a duty to them. And no matter how badly you want to break it, you can't. They were literally made for you, and just because you want something else, that doesn't mean they're what you need." 

She was right. he knew that. 

 

-

 

TG: alright ecto i know you have a weird sense of humor but this isnt fucking funny

TG: five days is long enough

TG: did i do something wrong? 

TG: no of course i didnt i am a goddamned gentleman

 

Dave grunted in frustration as he kicked his living room wall, continuing to pace in front of his laptop as he bit at his fingernails. Things had been going well. Fuck, things had been going more than well, they'd been going fucking swimmingly, god damn perfect. That was until Biologist stopped logging onto Pesterchum and was refusing to answer any of his attempts to talk to him. 

Maybe Ecto could tell. Dave had been flirting, sure, but it was harmless, and his penpal had been reciprocating for quite a while. It's not like his mate would ever find out about it, and hell, it's not like it would ever actually come into play. So he liked the kid, why did it matter? Maybe it mattered to Ecto, maybe that's why he suddenly up and fucking left leaving Dave to wring his hands like an idiot for five days while he typed out stupid bits of conversations between himself. 

 

TG: you know what fine

TG: i dont know what the everliving fuck i did wrong but five days of silence is damn near barbaric

TG: message me when you feel like it i guess

TG: later

EB: wait!

 

Dave was literally in the middle of closing his laptop when that annoying ass ping ran through the room, making him nearly rip the screen off its hinges as he pulled it back up to look at the message.

 

TG: would you look at that he actually gives a shit

TG: what the hell is wrong with you did you think this was funny? 

TG: jesus dude i didnt think you were an asshole until this what the fuck was that?

EB: whoa calm down turntech, you're losing your cool.

TG: no shit sherlock

TG: do i seem like i give a flying fuck? im mad ecto explain what i did so i can turn that anger away from you and onto myself

 

Dave was fuming. Five days of silence and the first thing said is that he was losing his cool? Wow, how amazing of an observation.

 

TG: we were good man we were doing fine what did i do wrong

EB: nothing! this was all me, i swear. 

TG: so i should be pissed at you then? 

TG: good to know because im not fucking kidding im as pissed as a god damn hospitals supply of urine samples

TG: each bit of anger is labeled and jarred just for my convince

EB: look i'm sorry!

TG: ah yes sorry thats just the blanket statement i need

TG: kind of ironic as fuck that literally the last thing i want to hear is the only thing that seems to make sense to say

TG: poetic

EB: ah, yes, the infamous irony makes a guest appearance.

TG: bash irony all you want its not going to change the fact that what you did was flat out fucked up

EB: i don't get it, how can you base your entire life on irony?

TG: to be honest im not sure

TG: but i did it anyway

TG: now stop changing the subject

EB: i was thinking through some stuff. unfortunately it was stuff that i couldn't talk to you about because, well, it involved you.

TG: so i just dont get to know after five days of silence

TG: even thought it was partially about me

EB: not today, nope.

EB: probably not ever.

 

Dave was just glaring at the computer, not even sure what to say. he wanted to be angry, but he could almost understand where Ecto was coming from. Still, some sort of warning would have been fucking nice. Another ping made him look up, watching as blue words flitted across the screen.

 

EB: that's actually pretty impressive.

EB: living your entire life based on irony, i mean.

EB: so you've lived your entire life by it, but would you ever think about changing it?

 

Damn it, he knew Dave too well. He knew how to suck him back into a conversation. Fucking irony in its finest form presents itself to you on a silver platter, and Dave just can't say no. Someone you're desperate to ignore talking about the one thing you can't ignore ever. And he really was trying to strike up a conversation. . . "Damn it Ecto," He muttered, his hands falling back to his keyboard.

 

TG: i dunno

TG: maybe

EB: well, do you want to?

TG: its too late to try now

TG: im balls deep in an ironic life

EB: well you could change it. who knows, someday you may have to.

TG: and if i tried to get rid of it nobody would like who i was

EB: i highly doubt that. i talk to you all the time, even when you forget to use your metaphors. you're actually pretty great.

TG: i just called you an asshole and yelled at you 

TG: how fucking stand up of me right?

TG: just goes to show how great i am

TG: you were probably going through some heavy shit and i was an ass about it

 

"Son of a bitch," Dave groaned, slipping his glasses off to rub at the bridge of his nose. No. There was no way he was going to feel guilty about this. Ecto was the one to ignore him, he didn't give any warning. He was in he wrong here.  
Right?

Wrong.

 

TG: truth be told ecto biologist

TG: i am actually a total loser

TG: or at least i must be because i cant even stand being mad at someone ive never fucking met

TG: i cant believe you havent stopped talking to me right now seriously 

TG: im a dick usually but ive been worse tonight than i should have been

 

Dave was slamming his fist against the counter top as his forehead fell to his laptop. Stupid, stupid, stup-

 

EB: . . . i don't really believe that.

EB: you're a dork, sure, but you're not a loser.

EB: and at first it was kind of stipulation because i promised ms. paint, but

EB: i like to think that we're actually good friends now.

EB: so even if you were kind of a dick tonight i think i can forgive that. 

TG: id like to think that too

TG: thanks for that

TG: god damn it dude im supposed to be pissed at you for your total lack of shits about ditching me

EG: hehe! what can i say, i'm a charmer! :)

 

From the other end, John was sighing, running a hand through his hair. Separation? Didn't work. He'd have to try something else. But he could do it later, because right now he had a friend that he'd been a jerk to and a lot of time to kill. With a small smile, he cracked his knuckles, fingers flying against the keys once more. Surely a five hour talk could make up for the five day absence. Right? 

Right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course, my Pesterchum!Dave was the beautiful Time, and have any comments, questions, concerns, cool art or character suggestions? Shoot me a message at orarewedancy.tumblr.com and don't forget to leave a comment if you need anything! Thanks for reading dears ^^


	12. Just Say Hi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short and stupid, but the idea of Jade seeking advice from someone 10x more clueless than her is cute~

John decidedly hated himself for taking the summer course option.

He'd signed up for it months in advance, and while Terezi, Eridan and Jade could just flit off and do what they pleased with their summer break, John was stuck going back into classes and doing ridiculous amounts of homework instead.

Last meeting he'd been taunted relentlessly about how tired he looked (smelled, according to the blind one of the group) by the three of them in turn, and considering that he now saw them as friends, he had no problem flipping them off as he drank his espresso while stiffing a yawn. Eridan and Jade just laughed while Terezi remained confused, asking what she'd missed. 

Him and Jade hadn't talked about the 'worry' that Turntech brought up, and the event had been well over a month ago. Jade had said she understood, but she still didn't really approve. So now John just tried to ignore it, seeing as other people wouldn't react as well as Jade had. The best he could do was keep this 'crush' contained, only ever making it evident in his mind when he was talking to the guy himself. At the third meeting, John had toned down what he wanted to say, merely giving the status update of "We're good, nothing exciting's really happened though," and only Terezi had been the one to notice. 

"What, the cool kid is falling from your good graces?" She questioned the moment the group fell to silence, her cloudy eyes looking red through the tinted shades as their general gaze seemed to narrow down on John.

"What? Psh, no, of course not. Just tired, not in the mood to talk," He'd excused, yawning for effect. And that sent Eridan on another rant about how 'Tw-wins is infuriating, he'll message at the w-worst times and keep me up at at all hours of the night', yada yada yada.

Actually, as he sorted through his papers, he realized that their next 'beginning-of-the-month group meeting' was the next day. The four month mark had finally been hit, and he almost felt sad. Two thirds of the way there. He only had two more months of talking with Turntech before he stopped talking to him completely. 

Refusing to think of that, he went back to mentally bashing this past summer semester. He hated it, but it was also letting him graduate a bit early, which was appreciated. Turntech had teased him relentlessly over it, saying that he needed to learn how to take a break, and as he sat among a miniature sea of papers that he had to turn in by the end of summer break, he wished he could go back. But, it was finally August 31st, the next term was starting one week from then, and he was finally sorting out the last of his assignments, all ready to hand in. He wanted to fall over and sleep for a billion years, and after his current homework run, he was completely ready to.

"John! Open the door, John, come on, Johnjohnjohnjohnj-"

"For the love of-" Jade. He could recognize that voice as clear as day and for a moment he vaguely wondered if the gods of college wanted to make sure he got absolutely no sleep during his next week long break. He loved his cousin and everything, but she kept him occupied for hours on end, and all he wanted to do was get each folder organized, drop them off to the correct teachers, and sleep. Clearing off his lap and walking over to his front door, John unlocked it before opening the door wide, raising an eyebrow at his cousin. Jade was practically buzzing with excitement, her green eyes wild as she fiddled with her fuzzy snap bracelet idly in her hand. Looking down, he motioned at her wrist. "What, not keeping that covered anymore?"

"I found her." 

The words reverberated around the room as she pushed past John, a grin plastered haphazardly across her face as her phone fell from her pocket into her fingers. Flipping through the lock screen with ease and pulling up what looked like a Facebook page, Jade held the phone up for John to see. 

The picture was of a girl with long black hair, a smile and pink glasses, her skin having a light tan while her teeth were perfectly white. She was sitting with some girl who looked similar to her, but with short black hair and two long braids draped over each of her shoulders, her right eyebrow pierced. John just glanced at the picture again before looking up at Jade. "Alright I missed something." 

"My mate, John, this is her!"

"Which one?" 

"The long haired one, the other one is too old, but that's not the point. The point is I found her!"

"I didn't even realize your mate was a girl." 

"Yeah, so?"

"I didn't think that, uh. . . Well who am I to talk," He muttered, scratching at the back of his head. This made Jade raise an eyebrow as well before waving him off.

"Still, John, look! Focus on the main point here!"

It was then that he realized he was being rude, and immediately perked up, smiling as he leaned down and hugged his cousin, picking her up slightly as he laughed. "Congratulations! Have you talked to her yet?" 

"Noooooo, not yet," She admitted, squeezing John once before dropping back to her normal height, letting him go. "I just found her like, an hour ago, and nearly had a panic attack. I've been looking since December, and now I've just. . . . Found her. Her Facebook didn't exist before but I think she may have had it deactivated or something, I don't know. All I know is that I found her John oh my god I found my mate!" Letting out a squeal, she bounced on the balls of her feet, beginning to pace the apartment and hopping carefully over each of John's papers every time she passed. "But she lives all the way down in Texas, so I'm not sure how I'm going to get down there. I'm living on a college budget, lets face it. I wonder if I can talk to my dad about borrowing his car to go down there. . . " 

She gave a small hum as she shook her head, waving her hands. "It doesn't matter, right? I'll figure it out soon enough, I just need to go, and try and talk to her. Right?" 

"Right," John assured, nodding. "So how are you gonna do that?"

This caused the room to fall in silence as Jade let out a groan, dropping her head to her hands. "Joooooooohn don't ask things like that, you'll make me freak out!"

"How would that make you freak out?!"

"Because! I don't know how to start. Help me, John, quickly, what do I do?" 

"Why quickly? don't know! I'm just as lost as you are, I haven't even found my mate! Why would I know what to say?" 

"Because you're John! You're helpful, you can figure this stuff out, come on!" Jade now looked legitimately nervous, and John could almost laugh. She'd came in beaming and now looked like she was going to throw up. 

"Just say hi. Start out with hi, don't just be like 'By the way, I'm your soulmate', introduce yourself and if she recognizes your name, than you know for sure that she's the one."

"I already know for sure, look at her face." 

"What does that even mean?" 

"I'm saying, look at her face! Seem special to you? No? I was literally scrolling down my Facebook homepage and saw her picture and I knew. Before I even saw her name, I knew. Trust me John, it's weird, but you just. . . Know. I don't need to introduce myself to be sure, but I'll do it as a pleasantry because lets face it if I didn't that'd be rude." 

"Alright. Then right now, send a message just telling her hello."

"It's so weird, I'm about to talk to her for the first time. God, I didn't realize I would be so nervous about this," Jade swallowed thickly as she flopped on John's couch, looking at her phone intently. "Do I just say hi or do I say her full name with the hi? What if she goes by a nickname? What if she doesn't get online for days? What if I spell something wrong?" 

Rolling his eyes, John sat down next to her, plucking her phone away and tapping out a message while she chewed on her lip nervously. 

"Hi! I'm Jade!"


	13. We Meet Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another short one, simply made to be cute ^^ Hope you enjoy!

Fef spat out her drink as her phone pinged, positively soaking Karkat in tea and causing Dave to offer up a skeptical noise as he glanced away from his toast. 

They were in the middle of their end of the month meeting when it happened. Sollux has been complaining about Aquarium as Dave had pretended to listen, when suddenly Fef dropped her cup and put a hand to her mouth, her eyes wide. 

"Okay, awesome, I was so fucking desperate to reek of chamomile," Karkat spat out, wiping at his face as Sollux burst out laughing. "Any reason why you like to make me live like this?" Even though he usually used a snapping tone, Karkat actually looked kind of interested, raising an eyebrow as he grabbed his cloth napkin, mopping up his face as he looked at his friend. 

"Jade," She answered, blinking owlishly as she adjusted her glasses.

"Who?" Was the response from all three boys, and she just let out a small huff, looking between the three of them. 

"Alright, my bad, I probably should have specified. I just got a message from Jade. She's-" Looking back at her phone, she wore a graceful smile as she giggled behind her hand, "She's my mate."

"Your mate'th a chick?" Sollux asked, looking mildly surprised. 

"Yeah, so?" She questioned, looking up at him with narrowed eyes. 

"I jutht didn't expect it, relath. Tho what are you gonna thay to her?" 

"Well I don't know!" She adopted a hopeless expression as she glanced between her three friends. "I need help, what am I supposed to say?" 

"What makes you think we know? We're just as hopeless as you," Karkat answered honestly, "None of us have found our mates."

Letting out a small whine, Fef looked at her phone, biting her bottom lip. 

"Oh for the love of-" Rolling his eyes before giving an almost fond smile, Dave held his hand out for the phone, wiggling his fingers, "Pass it over." 

Feferi did so without a second thought, her fingers lacing together as she fiddled her thumbs nervously, "Just don't be mean," She reminded, which made a white blonde eyebrow arch over the edge of Dave's shades in a silent 'how stupid do you think I am'.

"Do you still do that weird 'h' thing that you were talking about with Sollux?" 

"Why does it matter?" 

"Well I'd think that maybe you'd wanna keep this consistent? I'm not going to tapping out a rap here, I'm pretending to be you."

"Yes," She admitted, glancing away as she looked down at her now cracked glass, "Now just. . . Talk." 

 

 

Jade

Hi! I'm Jade!

Feferi

)(i!  
Sorry, I'm a little nervous, I don't know w)(at to say, )(a)(a. 

 

The lack of response for nearly two minutes had the table sitting in silence, and Dave just gave a small shrug. "I don't think I said anything wrong. Actually I didn't say much at all, I'd be surprised if I fucked up already," He admitted, and it was then that another ping resounded. 

 

 

Jade

uh alright sorry jade is AFK for a second so this is going to sound kind of weird  
but are you cuddlefish?

 

 

Dave was actually bewildered. "What the mother of fuck?" 

"What is it, what does it say?" Fef asked, shoving herself into Dave's personal space to read the message over his shoulder. 

 

 

Feferi

Yea)(, )(ow did you know?

 

Jade

well the typing kinda gave it away!  
my cousin, jade, is kind of freaking out over here  
i'm ecto  
and shes garden  
your chatting partner garden i mean  
so  
. . . hi?

 

 

"Ecto?"

"Garden?!"

"What?" 

"What did we mith?" 

Fef's forehead met the table as she began giggling, covering her face with her hands, "Oh my god, my pen pal is my soulmate. Oh my god oh my god oh my god." 

"Wait, Garden is Jade?" Karkat asked, while Dave just brushed him off. Fef looked up and nodded, smiling brightly.

 

 

Feferi

damn it ecto we need to stop meeting like this  
even at such an important moment youre here to sweep me off my feet  
now get jade on the phone so fef can talk to her shes kind of flippin shit

 

Jade

. . . .turntech? what are you doing with fef, why do you have her phone? 

 

Feferi

we were at this monthly meeting thing that spade suggested  
and im here because she was nervous and i was giving advice

 

Jade 

yeah alright good enough hehe  
now give the phone back to fef i think jades calm enough to speak now

 

 

"So," Dave questioned, handing the phone back to the girl and watching her chuckle again, "Think you'll be less nervous?" 

This just caused her to laugh, nodding. "I think I'll manage."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions? Comments? Concerns? Message me at orarewedancy.tumblr.com and I'll answer anything you throw at me~


	14. Whoa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhhhhh good looooooord. 
> 
> My Pesterchum!Dave was, of course, the ever perfect Time.

Jade left as it was starting to get dark out. She'd been talking to Fef all day and blushing brightly, laughing while John simply rolled his eyes with a smile and continued to organize his papers. She followed him as he began dropping them all off at his professors rooms, and as he dropped the last one off he let out a small sigh of relief. A week of doing nothing. A week of no classes, no worries, and no responsibilities until next semester. Sleep was calling out to him, so, in lieu of that, John sent her back home, telling her to give Fef his best. 

But now, stepping into his apartment alone while he listened to her footsteps recede down the hall, John closed the door behind him and sank to the floor, his forehead meeting the carpet as he let out a low groan. 

He was so happy for his cousin, he really was. But this entire situation once again brought up the situation of the ever impending Dave. 

Yet now it was worse. 

Because on one hand, there was Dave. 

On the other, there was Turntech. 

Even after the five days of avoidance, they'd managed to patch up the hole that it caused and skip over it without missing a beat. Still making stupid jokes, still talking about good movies (Turntech bashed Nick Cage, so John bashed Boondock Saints and got several insults in return while he just laughed) still doing everything the same. Just with a little bit of flirting. 

Okay a lot of flirting. 

Like a worryingly large amount of it? 

It had gotten to the point that every time he logged on he had butterflies in his stomach, or that he blushed at the dumbest of things. This crush was beginning to get out of hand, and every time he logged off he was just reminded that, well, Dave existed.

Letting out another long groan, John looked at the time, realizing that it was nearly nine at night and he hadn't even messaged Turntech. Dragging himself to stand and turning off the lights in his apartment as he went, John went to his bedroom, flopping down lazily at his computer while waiting for Pesterchum to load. He'd talked to him for a few minutes earlier that day, and he was pretty sure that Turntech would excuse his absence, considering the circumstances.

John let out another ridiculously stretched out groan. Stupid emotions. Stupid stupid emotions making this all complicated. Why did he even like Turntech? It shouldn't even be a thing. Noticing that he was online, John opened up a chat window. 

 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 20:52 --

EB: gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. 

TG: well thats a hell of a conversation starter

EB: everything is dumb, and stupid, and i quit.

TG: woah hold up there

TG: whats going on

TG: is this about jade?

EB: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.

EB: i'm happy for her, don't get me wrong!

TG: but you havent found your own mate yet

TG: and she has hers and it sucks

TG: i get it

EB: 4 months, and nothing.

 

\- 

Dave was beginning to wake up as he spoke to his friend, spread eagle across his futon as he tapped away on his phone. He'd fallen asleep after everyone had ditched the cafe, Fef heading off to continue talking to Jade and Karkat and Sollux still complaining to each other about their own penpals. 

In a weird way, he felt guilty talking about this with Ecto. They'd kind of been flirting like total assholes, regardless of both of their own mates, so this was a weird kind of insulting. And yet he was doing it anyways. 

He'd ended up talking to Bro about the fact that his relationship with Ecto probably could be a lot less platonic than it was and he'd still totally be chill with it. And his Bro couldn't even comment besides, "What about John?" 

That. . . . was a really good question. 

What about John? What about the stranger that he was 'destined' to be with? What about the fact that he'd been looking for 8 months and still found absolutely nothing on him? Sure, he felt bad that he was all up on Ecto, but on the other hand. . . 

Ecto was there. 

 

TG: well hey

TG: if it makes you feel any better

TG: i havent found mine either

EB: . . . really?

TG: nope

TG: still frustratingly oblivious as to how the hell ill find them

EB: i wish it helped, but now i just feel bad for you too because this feeling sucks.

EB: what if they're not even looking?

TG: then you live life i guess

TG: i will admit when i first got it i was pretty pissed

EB: you were?

TG: i mean what is this supernatural shit to tell me who to fall in love with

TG: but now

TG: i kinda just feel unloved

TG: and if theyre not looking for me who cares

TG: ill get by somehow

TG: but if they do

TG: then great

EB: but you don't understand, turntech. i literally grew up thinking i was never going to even have a name to go off of. so when it happened, i was ecstatic. sure, i was dumb about it for a few days, but after that i've been looking, and they're just. not there.

TG: did you ever think that theyre far away

TG: maybe they dont live in whereverthefuck washington

EB: of course i have. but with my luck they probably live in a different country, and not even canada!

TG: well then the same is probably my case

TG: i think the best thing to do is just live life as usual

EB: i sucked at doing that from the point i was born. seriously.

TG: i highly doubt that

EB: i'm not kidding.

TG: you are probably the lamest kid ive met

TG: with your nic cage and unironic love for shitty movies

TG: but you are one of the coolest dorks ive ever talked to

TG: and i think its safe to say i am glad to be your friend

EB: well yeah, but that's all connected to the me that my dad helped me find. 

EB: the me before that, he wasn't really even a person.

TG: i disagree with that one too

TG: theres plenty of you there behind your dorky tendencies

TG: ive seen them

TG: here

TG: typed out on this very screen

EB: turnech. i was born blank.

EB: i didn't get a name until i was adopted.

EB: and when i was adopted, i acted like an actual person. therefore, the name is connected to me as a person.

TG: who even fucking cares when you got your name

EB: i do!

TG: youre practically nameless to me

TG: and i still love you

 

Well fuck. 

 

-

 

John paused, his heart going cold and swelling at the same time. 

 

EB: you what?

 

-

 

TG: wait what

TG: i mean

 

"What do you mean?" Dave asked quietly, staring at the screen. He didn't mean to say that, did he? Fuck. Fuck this was bad. Love? Really? You don't feel that for anyone but your mate, period, no exceptions, he should be hung at the fucking gallows just for saying that. God what was wrong with him? Love? Did he really love Ecto? He didn't even know what his real name was. He didn't know what he looked like. The only interaction he'd had with this kid was through messaging him for a few months. They weren't even dating, and they sure as hell weren't mates. He didn't even know him.

But. 

But he did. 

He knew that he made lame puns. He knew that he was there for him whenever he needed to vent about life. he knew that he could talk to him, he knew that he was adopted, he knew that he wanted to meet Bill Murray someday, he knew a bunch of stupid little facts and hew knew all the most important ones. He knew that he was adopted when he was a little kid, and that his Dad was one of his best friends. He knew more than he was supposed to, because lets face it neither of them really cared about the rules at this point. The only ones they followed were that there were no physical descriptions, no names, and no locations. So far, visually, Ecto was just a big question mark. 

But did he love him? Really?

 

TG: you know what

TG: to hell with that

TG: i do love you

EB: you do?

TG: youre the only person besides my own two brothers that i can talk to

TG: i dont even fucking know what you look like

TG: but your personality is a motherfucking ray of sunshine

TG: i cant believe im even saying that oh my god

 

-

 

John was full out panicking. 

The stupidest smile in history had breached his face, but he was also having a hard time even breathing. How was he was supposed to react to this? Love? That was. . . . Big. Hella big, so big, in fact, that John's sluggish mind was having a hard time wrapping around it. Crush? Yes, alright, he'd admit but. . . 

Love? 

"Oh my god!" John chirped out, covering his face as he laughed and cried internally at the same time. 

For some reason, the name on his wrist almost burned as he looked at it, but looking back at the screen, he swallowed. 

 

EB: i

TG: its okay if you dont like me back

EB: i love you too

TG: ill just stop talking forever

TG: wait what

TG: you do

EB: yeah. yeah i do.

EB: everything you say makes me smile, and i can be myself around you.

EB: you are pretty much my favorite person, and i don't even know what you look like.

EB: every time i get to talk to you, i smile like an idiot.

EB: i actually laugh, out loud, a lot because of the things you say.

EB: i value your opinion.

EB: i take your advice.

EB: i love you.

 

He loved him. 

 

\- 

 

He loved him.

 

Wow.

 

TG: well then

TG: i guess we have come to an agreement

TG: to hell with soulmates and shit

TG: my heart has been taken by a dork

EB: and mine by the nerdiest cool kid in existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? Questions? Concerns? What to yell at me for this? Because I do. Message me at orarewedancy.tumblr.com ~


	15. Trail Mix?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has left kudos, left a comment, or even read this! Bless all of your faces a billion times over because seriously, you guys rock. This chapter is a little short, but I think I may write another one today. 
> 
> Also, comments, questions, concerns? Shoot me a message at orarewedancy.tumblr.com , because hearing from you guys is amazing and any form of communication is great~

"John. John wake up." 

The boy mumbled slightly to the voice, telling it to go away so he could sleep more. That came out as more of a slur of random syllables, however, leaving the voice to pipe back up. 

"Get up!" Shifting in his bed, John let out a startled yelp when he realized that no, there wasn't any bed as he crashed to the floor. Fighting to sit up and letting out a hiss through his teeth, he looked up and realized that the place he'd been sleeping was at his computer desk, halfway on his laptop. Huh. He must have passed out while talking with Turntech. Still looking up, he turned his attention to the figure and through squinted eyes, saw Jade standing with her hands on her hips, a bright expression on her face. 

"Rise and shine!"

Looking at the clock in the corner of his eye, he saw that it read 5:32 AM. 

He wasn't surprised that he'd fallen asleep there. He couldn't even bring himself to pull away from the computer after their dual admissions of mutual infatuation, so he'd practically passed out typing out a stupid message, which, was probably a bit less than stupid in their eyes. He'd fallen asleep on top of his laptop, which was kind of embarrassing, but he knew Turntech would understand. Of course he would. 

But Jade wouldn't, and the screen was on display seeing as he'd passed out with it open. 

Flailing to get up and shut his laptop so Jade wouldn't read any of it, he let out a small sigh of relief as he saw a small screen saver of a little green, smiley faced ghost blipping around the screen at random intervals. Saved by the bell. Or, well, time out screen on his piece of crap laptop. Standing up fully and shutting the laptop while Jade just looked confused, John cleared his throat and blinked, arching an eyebrow as he tipped to the left a little bit, balancing himself on his desk. "Why are you here? I'm on break, remember? Sleeping? Not doing things?"

"Yeah, not doing anything," She said, looking pointedly at the laptop with a raised brow and smirk. John could only blush in return, looking at the ceiling. 

"You know what I meant. Seriously, I've gotten like half an hour of sleep," Even as he was speaking a yawn was falling from his mouth, and Jade just grabbed his wrist, beginning to tug him into the living room. 

"Because, John, I talked to Ms. Paint about the whole deal about Fef and how the social experiment had been ruined, and-"

"Wait," John asked, stopping in the middle of the hallway. Seeing as he was taller than Jade, this stopped her in her tracks, looking back at him as his expression became hopeful but also upset, "Does this mean it's over, then? Did she cancel it?" 

If she did, then that meant John could actually tell Turntech everything. He could tell him his name, he could talk to him on Skype if he wanted to! He could drive down to Texas and actually meet him if he felt like it. 

"Noooo," Jade sang, and when she pulled again John didn't resist, his shoulders sagging sadly as he was pulled into his living room, "We talked to Mr. Spade, and we came up with a new way this experiment could go."

"Hello, son! Trail mix?" 

If John wasn't already getting more awake before, he definitely was now at the sound of his fathers voice. His living room contained four people: His father, who was eating a small baggie of trail mix and was sitting back on his couch, his Uncle Harely, who was petting his dog, Halley, that was curled up on the cushion next to him. Sitting in the one armchair in the room was Terezi, who was flicking her cane idly in an arc while Eridan snoozed lightly, still standing an leaning against the kitchen doorway. 

"Uh, what?" 

"We are giving you kids a ride, down to Texas," His father explained, eating one of the M&Ms out of the baggie. The closer John looked the more he could see that those seemed to be the only thing getting eaten. His father had a ridiculous sweet tooth. 

Really processing what was just said, John went wide eyed, "We're what?" 

"Going to Texas!" Jade pitched in excitedly, bouncing up and down as she grinned brightly, "After talking with Ms. Paint, she said that another thing the essay could be observing is how different the interaction is going to be in real life as opposed to virtually! Seeing as the anonymity factor kind of died the moment I found Fef." 

Going to Texas. Going to meet their chatting partners, going to be meeting Turntech. 

John was gonna meet Turntech. 

"I need to sit down," He said, simply going cross legged in the middle of the floor as he hid a smile behind his hands. He was going to meet him. Oh god. 

"Understandable. It is a bit early, isn't it old chap?" His uncle commented lightly, and Halley let out a small huff as he patted his head. John didn't even know how that dog was still alive. It had been old even when he was adopted, but here it was, still looking as young as ever.

"So, what, are we meeting up with them?" John asked, his fingers already itching to grab his phone and message Turntech.

"Nope! It's more of a surprise situation. We'll be writing the interaction bit, while they'll be writing how a sudden introduction can make someone feel. They won't know who we are, considering that Fef hasn't given them any physical description and neither have we!"

"And our dads are here, why?" 

"Rides, duh! Plus, my dad volunteered when he heard the news that I found Fef!"

"I just wanted to go to Texas," John's own father admitted, giving a smile as he shrugged, eating another M&M, "I've always wanted to go, but I've never really had the chance." 

"So we're just. . . Driving to Texas? How long is that even going to take?" 

"About two days. It is two thousand miles, you shouldn't be that surprised, though you seem rather anxious," Terezi commented, sniffing slightly. It was then that her gaze fell directly on John as she got an eat shit grin. "Ohh." 

"Ohh?" Jade questioned. "Ohh what?" 

John looked up at Terezi with a startled expression. How the hell could she tell anything was different? In the middle of him wondering if she was just bluffing or if she could actually tell something was up, Terezi just waved her hand, standing, "Nothing, I'm just excited to get to Texas!" She gave a small chuckle, and John could have sworn she winked at him before moving towards the door, "Something pretty interesting is gonna happen there, I can feel it. Now go get packed, John, we're burning daylight." 

-

EB: but everyone uses the regular heart! 

EB: i feel like i should be using a different one, you know? 

TG: no i dont

TG: whats wrong with the traditional <3 ?

EB: nothing!

EB: i just feel like you get something different. 

TG: why? 

EB: because you're different than everyone else to me!

TG: psh

TG: stop

TG: what else would you even use?

TG: and i swear to god if you just link a picture of a human heart or something i take back every nice thing ive ever said to you

EB: well bleh. 

EB: hmm. 

EB: E>

TG: is that suposed to be a heart?

EB: yeah! look at it!

TG: it looks all 8 bit

TG: i think i can deal with that

TG: ive always dug 8 bit anyways

TG: look you now have an excuse to use that terrible heart

TG: ecto? 

TG: yeah youve totally passed out

TG: get some sleep ill talk to you tomorrow

TG: .... 

TG: E>

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 04:57 --

 

Bro sighed, looking at his little bro who was still passed out on the couch. He'd been visiting during the last week of break, and Bro wasn't one to snoop. Usually. Your shit was your shit. But the phone had still been on and catching a glimpse of some weird heart, Bro had to check it out.

"Little man, what are you doing?" He mumbled, clicking his tongue as he set the phone back down next to Dave. When he woke up, he'd have to have a talk with him. Actually he was half tempted to wake him up and talk to him about it now, but. . . "Damn it," He grumbled, making his way to his own room. He almost didn't want to interfere at all, which being a guardian, he knew he should. This Ecto person wasn't Dave's mate, and the kid thought he was in love for fucks sake. 

But what if he was? What if he'd managed to actually find someone that he really did love?

Flopping down on his own bed, Bro slipped off his hat and shades, along with both of his sweatbands around his wrists. Glancing at the black name on his wrist, he let out a small huff. "What would you do if this was your little brother, James?" 

When the wrist offered no response, Brodrick just sighed, closing his eyes and throwing his forearm over his eyes as he began to fall asleep, "Yeah, that's what I thought."


	16. Whoops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, questions, concerns? Message me at orarewedancy.tumblr.com and thank you to everyone who'd left kudos, left comments, or read this fic! I'm really flattered by all of your kind words, bless your faces <3

"And I w-would w-walk a thousand miles and I w-would w-walk a thousand more-"

"Just to be the man who walked two thousand miles to show up at your door!" 

"Da da da da! Da da da da!" 

"Dum da da dum dum dum da dum dum dum dum da!"

The four teenagers were laughing, each wearing their own dumb smiles as they passed the sign, "Welcome to Texas, The Lone Star State!" 

"So, Jade, do any of them know-w w-what's about to happen?" Eridan questioned, his scarf discarded on the seat next to him as the AC was blasting loudly, leaving The Proclaimers to sing about their long journey behind its roar. It was actually kind of funny, his 'high and mighty' act had seemed to be wheedled down over the past day and a half, all of which had been various speeds of driving and bathroom breaks while they trucked their way through to Texas. Even Terezi had stopped bashing on him, the two of them getting along with each other to actually make the trip enjoyable. 

"Nope!" She responded, practically gleefully. Behind them, the car containing both her father and John's was driving carefully, keeping perfectly in line down the street. "I never told Fef, I just suggested that she should try and make up to everyone. You know, for having to leave so early on the day that we met and all that." 

"You're wicked," Terezi hissed with a grin, and Jade just giggled again as John continued to tap out a beat on the steering wheel. 

"Not at all! It was just a suggestion," Jade reminded, and John just shrugged, "So, Eridan, excited about meeting Twins?" 

"Of course not, it's going to be horrendous. He's been a large thorn in my side since the beginning of this experiment, w-why, I bet he'll be ev-ven w-worse in person," Eridan huffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he rolled his eyes. However Terezi just sniffed the air before lifting a hand. 

"Wait, guys, do you smell that?" 

"No?" Both John and Jade responded, and Terezi raised her eyebrows. 

"It smells like bullshit." 

The two people in the front seat started laughing as Eridan shoved her slightly, wearing his own smile even as he scoffed. "Yeah, w-whatev-ver." 

 

-

Group meeting at the diner! Don't be late! 3:00 -FP

Dave ignored the text, glancing back at his computer again. He hadn't talked to Ecto in nearly two days. After the other day, he was expecting. . . He didn't know, but more than that. He'd sent a few messages, but he remembered that it was also Ecto's only week off. Maybe he was just sleeping. 

For two days?

"Fuck it," He mumbled, glancing back at the message. Fef had been off gallivanting on her own adventures after finding out about Jade, so he was assuming this was her way of making up for ditching early their last group meeting. Not that he really cared, but if it kept Spade away and out of their business with their penpals, then he'd attend meetings fucking weekly. 

can do. -DS

Sighing, he leaned back in his desk chair, wondering what he was going to be doing for the next few hours when Bro came out of his room, sliding his hat on. Glancing over his shoulder, Dave watched as he made his way to the door, readjusting the white, popped collared shirt he was wearing before sliding his gloves on. 

"Where are you going?" Dave asked, spinning to look at his Bro. 

"Out," He responded, shrugging as he looked at his brother before winking, sliding his shades on, "Don't know why, but I guess today is just kind of a get shit done day. It's just a feeling. Don't talk to strangers, don't do drugs, and remember, if anyone shady rings the doorbell, you know how to use a sword," He reminded before clicking his tongue, walking out the door. 

"Thanks for caring," Dave called back, smirking slightly as a hand modeling a fingerless leather glove popped back in the doorway, flipping him off before the door closed. 

Sliding out of the chair with stolen grace, Dave decided to take a shower, stretching his arms above his head. Well, food at three, then. 

-

Bro should have been paying more attention. 

Hell, he didn't know how he couldn't have been. Growing up and teaching your little bros that being aware of your surroundings is important, you'd think that he'd remember to at least pay attention the oncoming foot traffic around him. He'd just been walking, planning on going to the bank and drop off his last paycheck, or maybe get some food. Dave was practically malnourished, the kid only drank fucking applejuice for gods sake. In the back of his mind he questioned the idea of getting a new sword when it just, happened. Out of no where there was just. . . a black tie and a pipe and some dude saying, "Oh goodness, I'm so sorry," In this weirdly rich voice. 

Blinking, Brodrick hadn't even realized he was still standing while this other poor fuck as sprawled on the ground. Looking down, he stopped. 

The guy was a hot dad. 

Or, at least he looked like a hot dad. He didn't actually have a kid with him. 

But he had a dad look about him. Black hair, dark eyes, white shirt and a black tie and on the ground next to him, a black fedora. 

Also, he was hot. 

And completely flat on his ass in public due to Bro while the younger of the two just stood there looking at him.

"Sorry man," Bro apologized, holding out a gloved right hand. He wanted to clear his throat, because those words sounded oddly genuine for no reason and that didn't need to be a thing. 

"No, it really was my fault, I should have been paying more attention. Just tired," The stranger assured, flashing Bro a smile that made him want to smile back, "Two days of driving will do that, I was just looking for somewhere to grab some coffee." 

This did cause the corner of Bro's mouth to lift slightly. What the fuck? Bro Strider didn't smile at strangers. The man gripped his hand just then, and the moment they touched, the both of them seemed to stop completely.

Everything else continued, but Bro's hand ran cold and the stranger seemed to feel it too. His grip tightened slightly, and suddenly wow, the air in Texas got a lot hotter in a really short amount of time. 

"Again, sorry," Bro murmured, the two of them now just staring at each other. This guy looked familiar. He looked hella familiar, but Bro didn't know how. He'd never seen him before. After a moment, the man looked away from Bro's shades, blushing brightly as he began to pull himself up. He was nearly standing when Bro's wrist suddenly felt cold, the sweatband that had been in place for eight years sliding down around his hand as the man slipped again, letting out a startled noise as he nearly met the pavement again. 

Thank god for flash stepping. 

Shit this guy was a clutz. 

In a moment, Bro had caught the man around the waist, keeping him from slipping again as he looked stunned, holding the stranger up.

And by up he meant totally pressed against him while one hand stayed on his waist and the other pressed against the small of the dude's back. 

"Do I know you?" The blonde one questioned quietly, and the older of the two cleared his throat, blinking widely as he stared at the pointed shades on Bro's face.

"I don't believe so, unless you've visited Washington recently."

Bro would ask questions for the rest of his fucking life if it meant he got to listen to that voice again. 

"I'm Bro. Drick. Brodrick," He introduced, still pressed right up against this guy in the middle of the sidewalk while people had to move around them with glares and scoffs. 

"James," The man breathed out, looking positively stunned and Bro could only stop. 

"James?" 

"Brodrick?" 

The stranger, wait, correction, James, now wore the brightest smile Bro had ever seen as the younger of the two spoke, "Yeah, but usually I just go by Bro," He corrected, sliding his glasses off of his face and onto the bill of his hat, allowing him to look at James fully. 

Fuck he looked even better without the tinting.

"I usually go by Mr. Egbert," He introduced, chuckling deeply and causing Bro's orange eyes to widen.

"James Egbert? I've been waiting all this time for James Egbert?" 

James began laughing at this as he leaned forward, his forehead connecting with Bro's shoulder with a small 'thump', "And I've been waiting for Bro?" 

"That's Bro Strider, thank you. And hey, hopefully the wait wasn't too long," Bro chuckled as well, hanging his head. The smell of shaving cream and aftershave hit him, and he couldn't help but smile. God this guy was suave. They were just about the same height, Bro just a little bit taller. Awesome. He was still holding onto Jame's waist, and god damn it he decided that he was never going to let go. 

"Got anywhere to be, Mr. Egbert? Because I know a few places that we could get coffee," He asked, and the man looked up at him, again wearing that freakin perfect smile. 

"Actually, my son has this thing soon, a class project, I-"

"Son?" This threw Bro for a loop. Son? This guy had a wife? Or had slept with a chick to get a son? This guy had a kid? The word didn't seem to be processing, and for a moment Bro completely forgot that he'd slipped his shades off and that everything he was thinking was playing pretty god damned openly across his face.

"Adopted," The man point out, the hand that had at some point made its way to Bro's shoulders squeezing once reassuringly, "Goodness Brodrick, you appear to have seen something truly terrifying." 

Upon hearing this, Bro actually let out a relieved sigh, rolling his eyes, "Well, son, alright, I think I can deal with that as long as he's not yours biologically. Scared me for a minute, dude. But wait, is he a toddler or something? Because I already went through that with Dirk and Dave, and-" 

"Dirk and Dave?" 

"My little brothers." It was weird, that he was so willing to offer up information to a virtual stranger, but Bro couldn't help it. He was just so. . . . Comfortable with it. "I've been with them since they were little, not really fond of the whole, 'tearing up the house faster than I can clean it while also seeming to get sick constantly' thing."

"Ah. And no, he's not, he's twenty one, so he's already out of the house, at college." 

"Twenty one?" 

"Yes, why?" 

"You have a twenty one year old son? And how old are you?" 

James blushed brightly at that, "When I adopted him he was already six, don't misunderstand-"

"It was a compliment. You look way too young to have a kid that old," Bro assured, raising an eyebrow at his blushing mate. "But huh. Dave's twenty one too, looks like they'll at least have something in common. Dirk's twenty five and across the country, so I'm not sure how much they'll connect."

"Well it appears that ours that we're both guardians of children the same age. I'm sure John would love to meet your brother."

"Wait, John?" 

". . . You did say Dave, correct?" 

"Oh shit." 

"Oh goodness me this is weird," James admitted, covering his mouth slightly with his fingertips as his brow furrowed. "I do believe that John may be Dave's-"

"I don't care about the fact that it's weird, I-" Bro sighed, letting his hands fall away from James before nodding towards the sidewalk, "We need to talk about something really quick."

"Should I be concerned?" James asked honestly, beginning to walk along side Bro as they made their way towards a cafe, the one that Bro knew Dave stopped at pretty frequently. Without a second thought, Bro gripped James' hand, squeezing it once as they stepped in tandem and feeling the man reciprocate, lacing their fingers together. 

God it was weird that it felt so damn natural.

"Well, Dave started this extra credit thing for Psychology," Bro started, trying to find a way to put his words carefully. Fuck he should have talked to Dave when he had the chance over the past few days. He just didn't think it would be all that important, yet. How could he break it to his own mate that Dave was already rejecting his son because of some. . . EctoBiologist?


	17. Well Fuck

"Alright, I've been waiting eight years to hear a laugh that perfect, but in this context I have no idea what's so fucking funny," Bro admitted, taking a long drink of coffee as he watched James continued to laugh politely behind his hand, "I just explained that Dave's gonna turn John down, and you're just laughing?" 

"Brodrick," James said, clearing his throat still wearing a large grin, "Do you believe in fate?" 

"Fate?" 

"Yes, fate." 

"You mean besides the soulmate thing?" 

"No, including that. Do you believe that fate actually plays a roll in that?" 

"I don't understand, how the fuck does this connect to you laughing your ass off?" 

"First off, language, and second off, just answer the question."

Bro thought for a minute. He'd. . . Never really thought about it. It didn't seem all that plausible, if you thought about it objectively. Some unseen force pushing together some universal plan. The entire idea was actually kind of laughable, that things were really supposed to fall in some divine pattern and cause a bunch of chain reactions to set up the way the world was supposed to play out. And even as he thought this his eyes landed on his mate and he paused. James said he lived in Washington. Two thousand miles away. And he was here on a trip with his son, and Bro had decided last minute to pull himself out of bed, throw on a pair of ass hugging pants and go to the bank, something that easily could have waited a day or two. They ran into each other in a city of two million people, and if Bro had waited an extra ten seconds to leave or if James had made one extra stop along the way to Texas, they would have bypassed each other completely. 

"Yeah. Yeah I do." 

"Well I believe they seem to be the perfect example of it," James laughed again, his cheeks tinted pink as his mouth continued to pull up in a smile. 

"Babe, please, explain, I'm lost." 

"Do you remember how I said that John had a school project that I was supposed to head over to?" He queried calmly, taking a small bite of the pie that he'd been served a few minutes prior as he looked at Bro. 

"Yeah, I still don't-"

"It was a pen pal project, both him and his cousin Jade were in it. Jades screen name was based on her love of gardening, and John's, if I remember correctly from when he was first telling me about it, was based off of one of his favorite movies. Ghostbusters." 

Bro raised an eyebrow. "Your son's a dork." 

"Shush you. But because of that fact, I remembered the name he'd been given, and-" James began laughing again, and Bro let out an annoyed huff. 

"James!"

"Does the name EctoBiologist ring a bell?"

Bro stopped completely, looking at James with an almost blank expression. He hadn't said that name yet. He'd just said 'Dave's pen pal'. 

"It rings the god damn Liberty Bell," He admitted, a small smirk gracing his features, "Holy shit." 

"It appears you won't be having to have that dreaded talk with Dave after all," James said, still sporting a prize grin. 

"And he was so set on fighting this whole soulmate system," Bro shrugged, clicking his tongue as his fingers tapped lightly at the table of their cafe, "Pity. He's gonna be crushed." 

"Well, hopefully he'll just do as instructed. If things go according to plan, they should be meeting in less than a few hours," James pointed out, sitting back as he adjusted his tie. 

"So we have a few hours to ourselves?" Bro queried, and glancing up, James actually blushed. 

"I. . . I suppose so." 

"Good. First, what's your favorite color?" 

This sent James into another bout of laughter, but this time Bro joined him more than willingly. 

-

"Okay, Fef, what wath the point of thith?" Sollux asked, tipping back in his chair. It was ten minutes to 3, and he, Karkat, and Fef were all waiting on Dave. "Good to thee you and all, but I do have a life outthide of this experiment you know."

"Hardly," Karkat scoffed, and Sollux could only glare.

"Well, our actual meeting was cut kind of short," Fef said, looking almost guilty, "So I thought that we should redo it! You know, we still have two months left of this thing, we really should be keeping up on our research." 

"And what do I even contribute? All I know ith that Aquarium ith a huge prick, that'th been the thame thtory thince week one." 

"Prick? Oh, you ass," A voice hissed quietly from a few tables over, and all three of the people at Sollux's table turned, looking at some young adult sporting black and purple hair with a sour expression. There were three other people at his table, two of whom were cringing and hiding their faces while the third just hid behind the menu completely. 

"Shh! Don't give us away," The other boy at the table said softly, but the other merely adjusted his glasses, now turning his attention to the menu on his table.

"Exuthe me?" Sollux questioned, draping his arm over the back of his chair as he glared at the stranger, "I don't think I athked for a thecond opinion, thankth." 

"W-well at least you hav-ve enough manners to thank me for my contribution," The stranger responded, and Sollux scoffed. 

"Do I know you? I don't think you have any right to barge in on a converthation that I'm having with my friendth and drop your own commentth in."

"I do w-when you use such an unoriginal insults."

"Why doeth it fucking matter?" Sollux asked indignantly, now actually looking a little pissed. Who the fuck did this guy think he was?

"Because I think I deserv-ve something more intriguing than 'prick', don't you Tw-wins?" He stranger questioned, now wearing a smug smile.

"What the fuck?" Karkat muttered, looking between the two of them as Sollux squinted through his glasses before his eyes widened. 

"Oh thit." 

"W-what, no more insults?" The stranger queried, sliding out of the booth he was in with odd ease to turn and face Sollux alone, both of his hands dipping in his front pockets as his stance relaxed slightly. The held the same air about him that Dave did; cool, calm and collected. Except unlike Dave, this guy looked far more high-and-mighty, his chin tipped up just slightly.

Sollux stood quickly enough that his chair tipped over, clattering loudly and turning more than a few heads as he faced the stranger, "What the fuck are you doing here?" 

"Glad I got such a w-warm w-welcome," The man chuckled in response, stepping forward with raised eyebrows. Sollux held his own ground, his arms crossing over his chest.

"You're Aquarium?" Fef questioned, looking back at the booth he was at before looking at him again, "What are you doing here, how did you-"

"One thec, Fef," Sollux interrupted, his glare now looking more confused and more curious. Something about this guy seemed. . . Relaxing. He knew him, he just didn't know how. Well, knew him besides all the months of talking to him over the internet, but not the point.

How the fuck could he be relaxing? He was the worlds biggest pain in the ass.

"But Sollux-!" She started, yet this time it was the one with purple hair to interrupt her. 

"W-wait, Sollux?" Sollux watched as the aloofness practically melted away from the guy, his expression going from smug to surprised and almost horrified as his left hand flew to his right wrist, pulling down his sleeve as he looked down, "You'v-ve got to be fucking joking me."

"What did I miss?" The boy back at the stranger's table asked, his blue eyes looking between the two of them before looking back at Fef, as if she could provide an answer. She just shrugged, seemingly just as out of the loop. Looking back at them, the blue eyed boy spoke again, "Eridan, are you alright?" 

"Eridan?!" The name came out loud enough that even more people in the diner turned their heads to look at was currently expiring, but neither of the two boys seemed to care. "Aww fuck no," Sollux snapped out, covering his mouth with both his hands as he stumbled back slightly and losing his balance.

"W-well don't collapse now-w!" Eridan snipped back, catching Sollux's forearm and stopping him from tipping over completely, "You should hav-ve done that minutes ago, you lost your chance."

"Hey, don't touch him!" Karkat snapped, about to stand up when Sollux lifted a hand, still looking at Eridan. 

"KK, relax."

"Why the fuck should I? He's manhandling you and being a dick." 

"Becauthe he thtopped me from tripping and he'th. . . "

"He's what?" 

"I'm his mate, is w-what, meaning he's still surprised ov-ver this and punching me most likely w-would not be the best course of action." Neither Sollux nor Eridan had looked away from each other, both of their eyes still tangled in some hate filled and amazed gaze.

"You're his-" A girl from Eridan's table started, glancing at the scene with red glasses hiding her eyes and a devilish grin painting her lips.

"Mate?" Karkat finished, hardly even looking surprised. Sitting back down and shaking his head, he plucked up his water, downing half of it before speaking again, "Always an adventure with you, Captor. Can't even go to a fucking diner without something revolutionary happening." 

"Thut up," He responded, shifting so he could stand on his own. As if on cue Eridan let go, and instead of turning away he held out his hand.

"Eridan Ampora," He introduced calmly, swallowing down the lump in his throat. Much to his surprise, Sollux gripped his hand tightly, shaking it once. 

"Thollux Captor."

"So, you really do hav-ve a lisp. I thought you w-were just trying to make reading your messages a hassle." 

"And I thought you were mocking me with that thutter," He responded honestly, looking down at their hands, "Your handthake ith weak, dude." 

For some unknown reason, snickering broke out at Eridan's table, all three of the strangers beginning to laugh as Eridan looked behind his back with a glare. The menu that had been held in front of one of the strangers dropped, and it revealed a girl with long brown hair, large green eyes and a slim, button nose, which was crinkled as she giggled. 

"Jade?" 

The name rang out as Fef's mouth split into a smile, and Jade could only continue giggling, but this time beaming widely as she nodded. Sliding out of her booth, she walked over to the table before putting both of her hands behind her back, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Surprise!" 

Standing immediately and wrapping her arms tightly around Jade, Fef pulled her mate close as she laughed as well. "You're here!" She exclaimed, and the other girl could only responded enthusiastically, hugging her around her waist. It turned out that Jade was at least half a head shorter than Fef, and it was perfect for Fef to rest her forehead against the top of Jade's head. 

"What, did you think I was gonna pass up a chance on meeting you?" Jade questioned, tipping her head up to bump her nose against Fef's with a hum and a grin. 

Fef's own nose crinkled at that as her smile turned fond, but the words continued through the moment. "I just don't understand! Both you and Twins are here, does that mean-"

"Gallows and Ecto are waiting at the booth, yes," Jade laughed, and she looked around for a moment before frowning, "But this is Geneticist, right?"

"Yeah, his real name is Karkat," Fef introduced, and Terezi seemed to perk up at that. 

Jade smiled at him and he gave a half hearted wave before she glanced around, "Where's Turntech?" 

-

He could tell. It was him. 

That was John. 

And he was sitting there talking with his group. 

Dave had been on his way to the diner, and glancing at his phone he saw that it was 3:02. Hardly late, and he knew nobody would really care, even though Karkat might give him shit about it. He was about to go in the front door when he glanced in, just on chance. And he saw him.

Dark hair, really fucking blue eyes, a ridiculously big smile and the perfect expression on his face. 

It clicked, just then, as Dave's hand was on the door. 

This was when he was supposed to meet John. This was him. Looking at the name on his wrist again, he almost wanted to let out a relieved laugh when he remembered the other night. Remembered reading the words, "I love you too," out loud at he read the response he hadn't been expect. Remembered four months worth of words. Remembered Ecto.

"Fuck," Dave said aloud, stumbling away from the door before beginning to walk away. After a moment he felt like there was still a chance 'John' could just exit the place and catch him. 

So he began running. 

He ran as fast as his feet would go, sprinting away from that god forsaken diner and away from the person that he was being forced to be with. 

He felt bad. John deserved to know what had happened, he deserved to know that Dave really wasn't meant for him. 

But Ecto was so much more important. 

-

"He should be here by now," Fef frowned, and back at the booth John just looked around the table. Terezi was sitting there, tracing the name on her wrist with a furrowed brow and a somber expression. It came to John's mind that if she'd been born blind, she'd never actually seen her wrist. Maybe she didn't even know what the name was. For some reason that idea made John pity her. 

"You alright?" He questioned, and she just nodded, mouth set in a thin line. Abruptly, she stood, grabbing her cane and making her way over to the other table before sitting across from Karkat, her normal smirk back in place as she immediately started teasing him. John didn't understand what had just happened, but he went with it anyways, giving a small smile as he continued to sit in his booth. 

Looking around the diner, now, John felt his heart sink. Eridan was talking with Sollux, and both of them even looked kind of happy. Jade was still smiling and hugging Fef, and and this point Terezi was feeling Karkat's face, laughing as the boy just wore a pained expression with the smallest of smirks. 

And then there was John, sitting alone.

Turntech was supposed to be there. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry don't hate me but if you want to hate me just leave me a message at orarewedancy.tumblr.com okay god I'm sorry this is painful even for me I promise I'll try to fix it later good lord I'm just really guilty about this


	18. Shut Up And Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just disgusting. My teeth are rotting from my skull just because of writing this. Ugh. Good luck with reading it. 
> 
> Comments, questions, concerns? Fan art, head cannons? Just wanna say hi? Message me at orarewedancy.tumblr.com ~

"Do you believe in aliens?" 

"Yes."

"Wait, seriously?"

"What, you don't?" 

"Well of course I do," Bro scoffed, taking another spoonful of icecream, "But you just don't seem like the type of person who would." Turning the spoon over in his mouth, he allowed the handle to hang in the air as his hands adjusted his hat slightly. 

"Alright, my turn," James said, taking a small drink of water, "Favorite type of candy?" 

"Reese's pieces," Bro spoke around his spoon.

"Hardly surprised. Your turn." 

"Favorite drink?" Bro questioned, taking the spoon out to eat another bite. 

"English Breakfast Tea." 

"I was talking about alcohol, babe." 

"Never had it," The older of the two admitted, glancing down at the table and purposely avoiding eye contact. They'd been sitting in the same cafe for two hours, simply asking questions back and forth and telling bits about their lives. It was their own odd way of learning about each other rather quickly, and it had been working splendidly. But this was just a new type of embarrassing, and James didn't even want to look up, knowing that his mate would hold it over his head, no matter loving it may seem. 

"No fucking way," Bro shook his head, leaning forward, "You've got to be kidding. You've never been drunk?" James couldn't help but notice as he glanced upthat there were two creases on the outside of Brodrick's mouth when he smiled, framing the sight beautifully.

"Never saw the appeal. Plus it smells terrible and makes you act rather silly without your own consent," James shrugged, stirring his water with the bendy straw that the kind waitress had provided as his cheeks were brushed with a light pink, "There's really no point." 

"Oh my god you're like the poster child of the suburbs," Bro cooed out, wearing a prize grin as James just rolled his eyes, "You're so innocent."

"Favorite type of cake?" James avoided easily, changing the subject.

"Devil's food," He responded, still smirking. It really was fun, getting James flustered. It wasn't hard, but god was it entertaining.

"I'll remember that," The man responded, his eyes narrowing as he smirked, looking up at Bro and locking gazes even through the shades. 

This caused Bro to raise a concerned eyebrow, lifting his gloved hands in a surrendering position, "What the hell is that look supposed to mean, should I be worried?" 

"Let's just say, live on your toes," He shrugged, sipping his water as he began to set up a prank in his mind. 

Bro opened his mouth to respond when he saw something outside, his gaze turning towards the window of their cafe. 

"Son of a bitch," Bro muttered, shaking his head. 

"Language, darling," James corrected, and he scooted in his own seat, trying to catch a glimpse of what Bro was swearing at. Watching as a blur of red, white and blonde made its way down the sidewalk, Bro slid out of the booth with so much ease that James was actually impressed. He made his way over to the door in a literal instant, and James watched in fascination as the man seemed to be moving so quickly he formed a blur, heading down the sidewalk after the running being. "What in the name of-" James muttered, watching as his mate chased after this person before completely tackling them, both the forms rolling before landing to sit on the sidewalk. 

"Brodrick!" James exclaimed aloud, looking at the waitress and holding up a finger in a 'one moment' sort of gesture with an apologetic smile before running out of the cafe. Making his way to Bro, he watched as the younger of the two adjusted a pair of aviators on his nose as his own mate stood, brushing off his (now ripped) black pants. "Why are you tackling this young gentleman?" He questioned, looking politely confused as he glanced between Bro and the boy on the ground before reaching up and readjusting the shades on Bro's face, moving them back up the bridge of his nose and covering his eyes fully once more. 

"Thanks," Bro admonished, flashing a quick grin before looking down, his expression turning annoyed, "And to answer your question, this 'young gentleman' is a little shit who I'm going to assume is running away from a certain diner." The emphasis on the word 'diner' made Dave practically get a visible question mark above his head, looking up at his brother. "Dave, what the fuck are you doing here?" 

"Bro, how in the fuck do-" Dave started before looking up at James, raising an eyebrow, "Who're you?"

"This is James," Bro introduced, and Dave looked at his Bro for another half a second before his gaze fell on James again, who offered up a small wave and a smile, "Now why are you running from the diner?" 

"How the fuck do you know about the diner? I didn't even tell you about it before you left." 

"I have my sources. Now spill, where the hell do you think you're going?" 

"Away. He's there, Bro, he's fucking-" 

"Who's there?" 

"John!"

"So did you talk to him?" This time it was James who spoke, and Dave slowly turned his head to look at him. 

"Why does it matter to you?" He asked flatly, and Bro nudged him with his foot, causing Dave to turn his attention back to his older brother. 

"Because that's his son, he's allowed to know." 

"His son?" Looking between the two of them, Dave held up both of his hands, his forefingers hanging a bit higher than the rest of his fingers as he ran through his thoughts. "So, let me get this straight, this is your mate?" One forefinger pointed to Bro.

"Yeah. I thought you would have kind of guessed that," Bro said, looking down at his younger sibling.

"And John, my John, is his son," His other forefingers pointed to James.

"Yes," Bro said, nodding curtly once. 

"Okay, so, he's your mate," The finger pointed to Bro bounced once as if to reiterate it's presence, "and he has a kid," The pointed a thumb back in the direction of the diner, "and his kid is my mate?" A finger turned to point at his own chest.

"No, he adopted a kid, and his kid is your mate, and he's mine." 

"That's literally exactly what I just said," Dave huffed, obviously getting annoyed as he continued to sit on the sidewalk, his hands dropping loudly to his lap.

"Shut up. So you talked to John then?" 

"Fuck no! I ran, I can't meet him, not yet, I-"

"Like I said, shut up. Now go back to that fucking diner." 

"Language," James reminded softly, and Bro just looked at him with a, 'really, with this right now?' expression.

"What? No! I-" Dave sighed, covering his face as he curled up slightly, "We need to talk, Bro, I-" 

"I already know about Ecto."

"What?" This caught Dave's attention fully as his head snapped up, looking at his Bro. "How do you-" His Bro had always had a kinda creepy knack for knowing a lot of shit that he shouldn't, but this took the fucking cake on any of those cake decorating shows. How in fucks name did he know about Ecto? 

"The entire group from Washington is down here, Ecto too. At that diner. They were gonna flank your sorry group but now you've ditched and left that poor bastard hanging because you were afraid of running into John. Just forget about John, and go. Now."

"But-"

"True love now, questions later, diner, now." 

"Bro answer the fucking q-" 

A hand reached down and grabbed the front of Dave's shirt, hauling him to stand with surprising ease before dropping him a few inches above the ground. Dave caught himself, taking a moment to make sure he was steady on his feet. When he readjusted his shades and looked back up at his Bro, the dude was just pointing back down the street with a stern expression. "Go."

"You're an asshole."

"Don't talk to your elders like that," Bro practically chimed, his eyes still narrowed.

Dave continued to glare, and even though he couldn't see through Bro's shades he knew that his brother was doing the exact same thing. It was then that he gave the smallest of smirks before turning on heel, running back the way he came. 

"Love you too!" Bro called to his back, crossing his arms across his chest as his brother disappeared around a corner.

Watching Dave run off again, James tipped his head slightly to the side, glancing to his side at Bro. "You just tricked him into thinking that John and Ecto were different people, you realize this correct?" 

"Yup." 

"And you did this on purpose?" 

"Yeah. He's gonna figure it out soon enough, he's a smart kid, but it's funnier this way."

"Oh you're just awful." 

"But you like it."

Rolling his eyes as they began to walk at a far more leisurely pace back towards the cafe, James bumped against Bro once, the blonde's hands falling to his side before lacing their fingers together, "Shush you. Your turn, next question."

 

\- 

"John! Don't leave yet!" Jade watched as John slipped his blue hoodie on despite the Houston heat with a sad expression. For nearly twenty minutes he'd been sitting alone, apparently in thought while everyone else talked to their chatting partners. Fef had sent Turntech countless texts, asking him where he was and why he was late, but there was never a reply. That alone was enough the make John's excited smile slowly fall and disappear. But Jade hadn't expected him to leave; There was still a chance that Turntech would show up, she could feel it. Call it a hunch. 

"I-" Sighing, he scratched at the back of his head, giving a smile so forced that Jade nearly winced, "I'm just gonna head back to the hotel." 

"But what about Turntech?" 

That, apparently, was the exact wrong thing to say. John swallowed and looked down, and Jade felt pity begin to roll in her stomach. John was doing the same thing he'd always done when he'd tried to avoid crying; He'd look down, then sniffle twice before forcing a smile and leaving. Every time, ever since he was little. And, just on cue, John gave another forced smile with a small shrug, "He's not coming." He didn't sound like he was questioning it, more stating it like the fact it was.

Jade opened her mouth to speak, but John walked out before another word could be spoken, his hands buried deeply in his pockets as he turned left, heading for the hotel. 

So. Turntech just didn't come to that meeting. It wasn't a big deal. It really wasn't. It wasn't like he'd been not going because of John, he didn't even know John was there! He just happened not to come, it was fine. 

It just hurt to see everyone else with the people that they wanted to be with. 

Over the trip, all four of them had been getting excited over the idea of meeting their pen pals, and John had been the most. Of course he had been, he was meeting the boy that he loved. Or at least he thought he would be. 

He hadn't told a single person about what was going on with Turntech, so he knew that it's not like he could tell Jade or Terezi or Eridan about why he was pouting like a child. Because at this point that's what it was. He was pouting, full out. In a weird way, it felt like being stood up, and even if he knew that wasn't what Turntech had in mind, it didn't take the sting out of his absence. 

John wasn't mad in the least, just. . . hurt.

 

Pulling out his phone, John pulled up Pesterchum. 

 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 15:32 --

EB: of all days to play hookie, man, why today? 

 

The response didn't come for nearly two minutes, and John grabbed his phone eagerly at the sound of an annoying ping. 

 

TG: sorry i was out on a run

TG: gotta get exercise and all that shit

TG: but wait how did you know i ditched

 

There was a pause for just a second.

 

TG: holy shit youre actually in texas

TG: no fucking way i thought bro was fucking with me

TG: oh my god please dont tell me you were actually in that fucking diner

EB: would it make you feel better if i said that i just left?

TG: ecto im so sorry

EB: its alright, turntech, don't worry about it!

EB: i'm going back to the hotel to get some sleep anyways.

TG: babe please dont think that i ditched you

TG: fuck

TG: please believe me i ran because

 

"Ow!" 

"Shit!"

John fell back on his butt as the other person tripped over John's stretched legs, their knees apparently hitting the sidewalk. 

In the middle of the biggest city in Texas, two boys managed to run into each other head on. Two bodies hit the ground, two phones met the concrete, and two voices rang out in exclamations. 

Wincing in pain, John sat up, looking down at his hands. Some of the skin looked white as powder, having been dragged as he caught himself, and small pebbled were dug into the skin. His fingertips began brushing at them gingerly, trying to work them out instead of further in as he looked up as the other boy. "I'm so sorry," John apologized, his eyes watering from the sting of his hands and the throbbing on his tailbone. Catching sight of a crop of blonde hair and shattered aviators on the ground next to the stranger, John paused the brushing of his palms. 

Why did this ring a bell?

Reaching out, the stranger picked up one of the two iPhones blindly, apparently desperate to keep talking to whomever was on the other end. He didn't look away from the sidewalk, and John could only catch a quick glimpse of him, his eyes squinted heavily against the sunlight, presumably. "I should be the sorry one man, I was typing like a fucking idiot and running, I wasn't paying attention at a-" Dragging his thumb across the lock screen, the stranger stopped mid-sentence. 

Pesterchum was pulled up, which he'd had been expecting completely. 

Under ectoBiologist's account.

"Uh-" 

"I think you may have grabbed my phone," John apologized, blushing slightly as he picked up the other iPhone, offering it up to the boy, "Sorry about that."

And for Dave, it finally all clicked. 

"You're the same person," He breathed out quietly, and fuck the sun and all it's shining glory because Dave forced himself to look up, making eye contact with the most perfect blue eyes he'd ever seen, small lines carved from constant laughter at the corners of each, all under two slick black eyebrows. 

Somewhere in the back of Dave's mind, he heard Squidward Tentacle's voice saying, "Oh no he's hooooot," in that annoying nasally tone because damn it was true. An adorable cupids bow, freckles only on his cheek bones, the slightest bit of a cleft chin, messy black hair and these stupid glasses that were square and framed those perfect, almond shaped eyes with eyelashes that were long enough to touch the glass itself. 

And he was all Dave's. 

"I don't know which to call you," He admitted aloud, his own phone still held up in John's hand. 

"Excuse me?" John questioned, his brow knitting and for some reason Dave felt his heart move from his chest to his stomach, his throat, and his ears all at the same time just because holy shit he looked so cute when he was confused. He thought that maybe the guy had just misspoke, and he was requesting John's name. "My name's John, and again, I'm so sorry for running into you." 

John couldn't place how he knew this guy. But his hair was bright in the sunlight, and those eyes were haunting. His eyelashes were white, which was surprising, but they framed blood colored irises which John was having a bit of a hard time looking away from. This kid was pale, fair skinned, with a strong look about him and was just. . . Unbelievable. He looked like something out of a movie or book, not something that would actually be a real person. 

"You know, if we'd just broken that damn rule and said our names on the first day, this shit would have been a lot easier to get through. I need to go talk to Mr. Spade," Dave sighed dramatically, and for the second time that day he could not give less of a shit that he was camped out in the middle of the sidewalk. But this time, the person across from him wasn't standing and yelling down at him to run back to his true love. Nah, the person across from him was wearing a positively stunned expression and blinking wildly. 

"Turntech?" The word came out as a whisper, and Dave shook his head. 

"Yeah. But I prefer Dave," He admitted, his mouth finally falling into a crooked smile as he lifted up his right hand, his long red sleeve falling down to reveal 'John' in a familiar blue script. 

Glad that he was able to get his cool, movie worthy line in, Dave was about to say another one when he was tackled, his back hitting the sidewalk as he let out an indignant squawk as John just laughed. It was infectious enough that Dave chuckled in response, feeling that John had managed to get his arms around his waist before he'd fallen backwards. Sitting up, his own arms looped around John's neck, pulling him flush as he let out a sigh. 

Fucking finally. 

John didn't say anything at first but just continued to laugh, his face hidden against the crook of Dave's neck for nearly a minute before the words slid out, "There's no way, I- This can't be real." 

"Pretty sure it is. 100% grade A beef kind of real, right here," Dave started, his words seeming to go directly to John's ear. "More real than Ja Rule. More real than anything science has ever proved. This shit's realer than real."

"Oh god you're just as much of a nerd in person as you are on the internet," John giggled. 

"Hell nah, I'm smooth as hell. Plus, Nerds are the worst candy in history, they are a disappointment to Willy Wonka and I'm insulted as piss that you're even comparing me to them." 

"This is really what you want our first conversation to be about? Beef and candy?" 

"Our other first conversation was about my teacher being a mafia member." 

Pulling back, John let out a small snort, his eyes closed momentarily before opening, looking at Dave and letting his eyes look up and down the blonde's face once, "That's a good point." 

"Like what you see?" He questioned, waggling his eyebrows before winking once. 

Rolling his eyes in response, John leaned forward, his nose pressing against Dave's lightly. "John Egbert," He introduced, looking at Dave with a grin so wide it was pressing against the confines of his face. 

"Dave Strider," He responded, still just as aloof as usual even though he was sitting in the middle of a crowded sidewalk with his nose pressed up against another boy's, and even though he wore a small smirk. 

"What a cool kid name," John mocked. 

"Said the Egderp," He snipped back, and John actually burst out laughing, his nose falling away from Dave's as he ducked his head to laugh. 

"By the way, I hardly even noticed, we both kind of fell. You alright?" Dave questioned, frowning as he looked down. The white was gone from John's palms, which were sitting loosely on his lap. The balls of his hands had been skinned, bright red lines drawing themselves harshly against the soft skin and causing little bubbles of red to spill forth. 

"I'm pretty okay, I promise," John assured, only lifting his head when he felt Dave grab his hands. His thumbs brushed against them, and John let out a small noise, frowning, "Alright, that does kind of sting." 

"Come on, we should probably ditch the concrete," Dave suggested, grabbing both of John's wrists to avoid hurting his hands anymore and pulling him to stand. Reaching down, he scooped up both of their phones and his broken shades, folding them and hanging them peacefully on the collar of his shirt. Looking between the two iPhones, he turned them on and unlocked them both, pressing both of the home buttons. One was a background of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, and the other was of Nic Cage. 

"Seriously, with this?" He asked, handing what he'd now figured out to be John's phone back to him with a headshake, "I'm ashamed."

Taking the phone back, John gave an almost proud smile before something appeared to dawn on him, "Hey you know what I just realized?" 

"What?" 

"I just fell for you."

The audible silence as Dave wore a deadpan expression and John wore a high eyebrowed and waiting grin nearly deafened the pair of them. 

"I love you so fucking much," Dave said, grabbing the front of John's shirt and hauling him in for a kiss, which John could only accept with a giggle against the blondes lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, this will not be the last chapter, there will be one more. Which will be even more sickly sweet than the first and include more of Dad laughing at everyone for being idiots. Tune in folks it's gonna be good.


	19. What A Beautiful Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not long, but I think it wraps things up pretty well ^^ Plus, being misleading is just way too much fun~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I AM SO SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
> 
> Other than that, enjoy the last chapter! It's more BroDad than anything, but as promised, it'll rot your teeth out and it's pretty flipping cute. 
> 
> I may make little one shots based on this universe, but otherwise, this work is finally complete! Yip yip~
> 
> If you have a situation that you think would be cute, or a plot bunny that you want written, don't hesitate to ask! I love writing, so it would be really fun to keep writing these idiots ~
> 
> Comments, questions, concerns, fan art, plot bunnies? Message me at Orarewedancy.tumblr.com ^^

"This is ridiculous." 

"Daaave, stop fidgeting!" 

"Why shouldn't I be? This suit is gripping the shit out of me." 

"Well it is a little tight, I will admit. . . " 

"Why John, you're smiling while saying that! Should I call scandal?" 

"How is it scandal? I'm allowed to appreciate my mate in a very well fitting suit!"

"'Well fitting'? What the fuck happened to tight? And get your mind out of the gutter Egbert, this is a professional event." 

"It wasn't ever even in the gutter, I was just saying a fact!" John said in a very strained whisper, having to fight not to draw attention to him nor Dave.

The chapel around them was quiet, bar a few people in the pews whispering as the priest spoke loudly. The wedding itself was actually quiet beautiful, in John's opinion. The stain glass windows on either side were pouring light into the place, and everyone wore some sort of smile. There was wonderful food, friends and family, lovely music, and was all together just wonderful. It would most likely be a lot better, however, if Dave would stand still and quiet down. 

"Your suit looks fine," John admonished, "Now be quiet for two minutes until this is over and everyone starts throwing rice." 

"I thought that made birds stomachs explode and shit." 

"Wow, what a romantic you are." 

"Why do I need to be a romantic? Just because we're in a church and at a wedding doesn't mean I have to be a romantic." 

"Because all of our family and friends are here to watch this and right now whispering at each other seems to be a little rude?" 

"Mostly your friends." 

"How is it mostly my friend? It's the other people that were in our groups, and they're all paired up as it is. Sollux and Eridan, Jade and Fef, and Karkat and Terezi." 

"Wait, Terezi's the reason that Karkat stopped being such a dick?" Clicking his tongue, Dave smirked, "Makes a lot of sense. But I still can't believe we're doing this in Washington. Why couldn't this just happen in Texas?" 

"Because Egberts love tradition," John said, and reaching over he pinched Dave's side once before the blonde just glared at him behind his shades. While his remained in place on his face, a pair of pointed shades stuck out of his breast pocket along with a white rose, giving him the picture perfect finish of being one of the two current best men. Turning his attention away from his mate, Dave looked back at his Bro, who was currently standing in front of James, the two of them looking like absolute idiots and smiling widely while Bro's hands stayed shoved in his pockets and James' hands were crossed respectfully in front of him. 

While John's father was perfectly suited up, down to the black tie and silver tie pin, Bro had gone for a bit more of a relaxed look. AKA no tie, the first two buttons of his shirt undone, and an orange rose (something that James had looked all day for and ended up getting tackled in the living room by his Fiancé over while John just laughed and Dave took a picture) sticking out of his breast pocket. 

While weddings were hardly needed, considering that when people found their mate they had a tendency not to stray, they were still quite popular. It was a persons own way of dictating 'Look, I'm set, I've got what I've wanted for the rest of my life' while also having a reason to show off one of the most important people in your world. Common practice and expected once you found your mate, yes, but none the less special. 

Bro had moved up to Washington merely a month after him and James met, while John continued to go to college in Washington and talk to Dave daily, who was still down in Texas. They visited each other as often as possible, but between schooling it was more of a treat than anything, so this wedding was its own blessing in disguise. 

The reason that Brodrick and James were getting married was this: One day Bro threw a ring as James and told him to put it on, resulting in the most half assed engagement of the century while the younger of the two just blushed in embarrassment as James laughed. 

Which then, in turn, led to a candle lit dinner and an actual, down on one knee proposal by James himself. 

That had been about six months ago, and the wedding itself had been one of the most exhausting experiences of John's young life. His father had been told, "Not to worry about a thing!" by Jade and Uncle Harley, while they pulled John into helping them. It had ended up taking up most of John's time outside of school, and the worst part of all; John had to make the food. 

John had to make the cake, in particular. 

The first time he saw Dave in nearly a year and the first comment his mate had was, "You smell like buttercream, holy shit." 

Speaking of Dave, he was speaking again, and John leaned in respectfully, his eyes still on their guardians as they slipped on a pair of matching rings. 

"I've hardly ever seen my Bro even smile, what the fuck did your Dad do to him?" 

"Made him happy?" John challenged, raising an eyebrow as he wore a winning smirk. 

"You make me happy and I don't go dipping around with some goofy grin on my face." 

"Well maybe I need to try harder then."

"Wait, you're not even trying at this point? Where is this relationship going?" 

"Dave."

"What?" 

"I love you." 

I now pronounce you legally wed," The priest said in a thick voice, and the place positively erupted in cheers and clapping as Bro, ever the romantic, dipped James before kissing him, the older of the two laughing too hard to even kiss back as Dave just looked at his mate, a stupid smile making its way onto his lips. 

-

"John! It's wonderful!" James was wearing a comfortable smile as he walked over to the cake that was currently at the center of the snacks table, a three tiered white monster that could have fed a small city. Of course, it was baked to perfection, with a good amount of detailing that just caused Dave to look on in awe. Instead of having the two small figures on top, however, John had simply crafted curls of colored sugar, black and orange which stood a few good inches on their own. 

"Yeah, well," John laughed, giving his father a hug in congratulations, "My house reeking of baked goods was kind of worth it." 

"Kind of?" Bro questioned, quirking up an eyebrow over the shades that were now back in place. 

"Don't be that person," Dave commented, and Bro chuckled before looping his arm through James'.

"Being that person is my destiny, little man, you should know that by now. Questions are my forte. Also, speaking of questions, have you-" Bro had begun to turn to Dave when he got a hand to the middle of his face, Dave looking as calm as usual while Bro's glasses were hit askew, causing him to look at Dave with an amused expression. 

"Nope," Dave chirped, his hand staying in place against Bro's mouth and nose. 

"But you're gonna?" Bro questioned, sounding muffled. 

"If you stop ruining it," Dave said, glaring behind the tinted plastic. 

"I haven't said shit, how could I have already ruined it?" 

"What did we miss?" John asked, and Bro began laughing as Dave just sighed, his expression becoming pinched as his hand dropped. 

"Nothing," Both Striders answered in unison, and apparently as a distraction, Bro decided to jump in. 

"Yeah, well, as much as I would just love to sit around and shoot the breeze, I have to go and do some slow dance crap that Jade has set up." Tipping his head, he pulled James away while the older of the two chuckled, already taking the leading position once they made it to the center of the dancefloor. 

John watched them walk away in utter confusion before turning towards Dave, staring him down. "What was that?" 

"What was what?" Dave answered aloofly, glancing in John's general direction as he leaned slightly on the snacks table. 

"Bro said you had a question to ask."

"He's confused. Lovestruck and idiotic, that's my Bro-" 

"Dave-"

"He really should learn how not to run his mouth, it's not healthy, seriously, can lead to some major complications later on in life-"

"Dave-"

"Meaning when he's too old to make decisions and I decide to pull the plug on his ass-"

He was forced to shut up when lips met his own, and hating that he actually relaxed, Dave let out a small annoyed noise, his glasses being slipped of his face against his will. When John pulled away, he looked at him again, his eyes narrowed as blue met red. 

"Ask the question, would you?" 

The words sounded so crisp on their own little bubble, away from the music and the crowd, and Dave just sighed before scrunching up his nose slightly. 

"You can say no if you want," He reminded, and damn it was a lot harder to look relaxed without shades on. 

"Okaaaay," John assured, beginning to smile a little. 

"And this is all hypothetical, obviously." 

"Yeah, got it." 

"Well you know how I live in Texas?" Dave started, and John actually laughed, nodding. 

"Yeah, I think I remember that small detail of our relationship," He snorted, and looking up and seeing that Dave appeared to be a little more serious, John forced the smile away, nodding once more and looking at his mate, "But yes. I do." 

"Well-" Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small piece of folded paper, handing it over. John's brow furrowed as he began to unfold it, watching Dave shuffle awkwardly out of the corner of his eye. The moment it was open fully, Dave spoke again, "Would you be okay with having a roommate?" 

The acceptance letter, which allowed Dave to transfer from University of Houston to Seattle University, fell to the ground as Dave was practically tackled, the pair of them falling to the floor. 

From the other side of the room, Bro chuckled to himself, his forehead still resting against James'. "They're both idiots," He commented, watching as Dave laughed, his head falling back against the floor while John hugged him tightly. 

"Should we go congratulate him on his transfer?" James offered, but the smirk he wore as he pulled Bro over to the snacks table made the blonde narrow his eyes. 

"I don't know, should we?" He questioned, their footfalls lost in the music. James remained silence for the total of the twenty seconds it took to get over to where John and Dave were still sitting on the floor before Bro began to feel uneasy.

"What are you thinking?" He questioned, and the moment the words were out of his mouth a foot fell in front of his own, jerking harshly and suddenly enough that he fell backwards, his hand shooting out to James' lapel and dragging him down as the two crashed into the cake, knocking over the snacks table entirely. 

Struggling to sit up as John and Dave began practically roaring with laughter, Bro dug his shades out of a mess of Devils Food cake before looking at his husband, the man wearing a winning grin as he began to wipe frosting off of his face. 

"I hate you so much," Bro muttered, feeling, no pun intended, caked in the heavy food as he reached out, drawing war paint onto James' face in white frosting. 

"Love you too, darling," He responded, booping a dollop onto Bro's nose before kissing his forehead with a laugh.


End file.
